by Brian McGackin
Welcome to the Daily Genoshan's Haiku Review for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, where each chapter gets its own 17-syllable recap! As I mentioned last week, for various reasons I actually used the UK edition, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but they're basically the same thing.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived
Wizard offers cat
candy. Baby with scar dropped
on fat uncle's porch.
Chapter 2: The Vanishing Glass
Ten years later: boy
can do weird stuff; tries to kill
cousin with big snake.
Chapter 3: The Letters from No One
Complaints about strange
letters go unanswered, so
family moves out.
Chapter 4: The Keeper of the Keys
Massive oaf, battered
orphan discuss scholastic
opportunities.
Chapter 5: Diagon Alley
Orphan Harry, oaf
Hagrid get ice cream, go on
wizard shopping spree.
Chapter 6: The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters
Harry can't find train.
Red-head Ron ogles, helps out.
Fat kid loses toad.
Chapter 7: The Sorting Hat
Harry: Gryffindor!
Ron: Gryffindor! Annoying
brunette: Gryffindor!
Chapter 8: The Potions Master
Prof. Snape hates Harry.
Annoying Hermione
knows everything.
Chapter 9: The Midnight Duel
Harry breaks rules: learns
to fly, joins a sports team, finds
three-headed guard dog.
Chapter 10: Halloween
Troll loose in Hogwarts.
Harry, Ron defeat it, save
Hermione. Friends!
Chapter 11: Quidditch
Harry plays Quidditch,
nearly dies, almost swallows
snitch. Secrets revealed.
Chapter 12: The Mirror of Erised
Hogwarts for Christmas!
Harry gets presents, can turn
invisible now.
Chapter 13: Nicolas Flamel
Three-headed Fluffy
guards Philosopher's Stone. Snape
wants stone for himself.
Chapter 14: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback
Jerk Malfoy learns of
Hagrid's illegal dragon;
Ron's bro adopts it.
Chapter 15: The Forbidden Forest
Detention in the
Forest: dead unicorn, some
centaurs, Voldemort?
Chapter 16: Through the Trapdoor
Harry and co sneak
off to stop Voldy's theft of
Philosopher's Stone.
Chapter 17: The Man with Two Faces
Surprise! Prof. Quirrell
hosting Voldy parasite.
Harry saves the day.
I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts Professor...
Be sure to come back next week for the Haiku Review of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets!
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