The Daily Genoshan: A Weekly Book Review

The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern)

2011-09-09T05:19:00.000-07:00

by Thom Dunn

The first thing I heard about The Night Circus was that it was "going to be the next Twilight." Naturally, this made me a bit skeptical, but when I heard the first chapter of the audiobook (narrated by Jim Dale!) at a lovely circus launch party in Concord, Massachusetts (where some of the book is set), I decided to get over my prejudices towards sparkly vampires and give The Night Circus a fair shot.

And you know what? It was good.

It wasn't great by any means, but I certainly enjoyed it. From the first chapter (both reading and hearing), I found myself swept up in the magnificent imagery of the story, and its sprawling, magical nature. First-time author Erin Morgenstern fills her story with charming characters, tortured and macabre and beautiful, and does a very good job of creating the world of this supernatural traveling circus at the turn of the 20th century.

Except when she doesn't.

Morgenstern's descriptions of the magical goings-on in each circus tents is mesmerizing — I can already hear the fans crying out about how the upcoming film doesn't do justice to the Ice Room, or the Wishing Tree, or the White Bonfire, as they appeared in the readers' heads — but she seems to focus so heavily on these descriptions that she neglects to fill in the details of the story. The book jacket describes it as a duel to the death between two apprentice magicians (the magic kind; not the hats-in-rabbits kind) who ultimately fall in love. That's there, I guess, but at no point in the book is there ever any sense of stakes, or drama. Sure, you get told that there's this mysterious "competition," and that there are "rules" and "players" that must remain secret until they are revealed. But other than that, it's just fanciful descriptions of magical midnight dinner parties (which, for the record, I quite enjoyed). The sense of mystery and intrigue that surrounds the story makes you want to keep reading, and the pretty imagery satisfies you for a while, but unfortunately, that's not enough to live on.

Rating
The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern

Story: 5.8
Somewhere in here, there is a beautiful, timeless story of two unwitting pawns bound by their lineage into an ancient struggle between good and evil, who try to overcome these forces in the name of love. Unfortunately, by the time that Morgenstern really gets into this Romeo & Juliet story, it's already too late. There seems to be some great history and story between Prospero The Enchanter, and the elusive Man In The Grey Suit — but it never really goes anywhere, and we never get much explanation for, well, anything. (It is, however, quite enjoyable to read about Poppet & Widget, the twins born in the circus on opening night, and their friendship with lonely farmboy Bailey. Maybe that should have been the A-Plot)

Style: 7.8
The style here is what saves The Night Circus. Chapters hardly ran more than five pages, and successive chapters focused on different characters, often in a nonlinear fashion. By jumping between time and character, Morgenstern is able to set up a captivating puzzle that, while simple enough to follow, still makes you want to read more. With such short chapters, I found myself constantly thinking, "Well, just one chapter more," hoping that I would soon return to one of the more exciting scenes or storylines. I also found it interesting that, barring a few one-page interludes rendered in the 2nd Person, most of the scenes were written in 3rd person present, which helped add to the mysteriously nonlinear suspense. And of course, as I've mentioned several times, Morgenstern creates some wonderful imagery in the story. It's not quite poetry, but it is certainly vivid and rich.

General: 6.3
The Night Circus was certainly an enjoyable read, and I don't doubt that it will be successful as a franchise. And for a first time author — who, if I'm not mistaken, has never had so much as an article or a short story published — it's admirable work. Still, for all its wonderful moments, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

Overall: 6.63

The Truth About Diamonds (Nicole Richie)

2011-08-12T13:11:00.001-07:00

by Thom Dunn

Upon discovering that Nicole Richie (of "Nicole Richie" fame) was a New York Times Bestselling Author, I challenged myself to conquer the novel that brought her such a distinction, and to do so as objectively as possible, without simply writing it off as "Haha. Nicole Richie wrote a novel. Haha."

The Truth About Diamonds is the fictional story of ~~Nicole Richie~~ Chloe Parker, the adopted daughter of a famous musician, and her struggles with addiction and fame as part of the Hollywood A-List. The story is narrated by Chloe's good friend, ~~Future~~ Fictional Nicole Richie, and brings readers behind the scenes of ~~Nicole's~~ Chloe's reality television series ~~The Simple Life with Paris & Nicole~~ Magdalena Girls, and her rocky relationship with best friend and co-star ~~Paris Hilton~~ Simone.

Basically, The Truth About Diamonds is #1stWorldProblems in novel form. ~~Nicole~~ Chloe and her friends lead difficult lives as the children of wealthy and successful celebrities. They are forced to go shopping, eat expensive salads at lunch, go to fancy clubs, and get paid ridiculous sums of money to act as walking product placement for top designer brands. Sure, Chloe is forced to deal with her drug addiction and rehab, some annoying paparazzi, and the seedy machinations of reality TV producers, but these problems are only briefly touched upon, and even more quickly resolved.

Oh! Did I forget to mention that there's a totally sweet collection of glossy photos of Nicole Richie looking drugged up and sad inserted into the middle of the book? No? Whatever.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that next time I decide to take on such a challenge: please, for the love of God, talk me out to it.

Rating
The Truth About Diamonds, by Nicole Richie

Story: 3.3
You know how there's that whole school of writers like Bret Easton Ellis who like to expose the corrupt and twisted amorality of the American Upper Class in their work? This book's is kind of like that. Except no one's really that corrupted or twisted or amoral (or that complex or interesting). You catch a few glimmers of these treats in the books "antagonists" — mostly PR spinsters and paparazzi, but even then, they're not that bad. Every time an event seems poised to send our main character plummeting to rock bottom, leaving the empathetic reader to pine, "Oh no! How will she ever make it out of this one?", the problem is neatly resolved within 4 pages. Oh no! ~~Nicole~~ Chloe fell off the wagon and went back on drugs? ~~Nicole~~ Chloe made a fool of herself on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards? It's cool, she's an obscenely wealthy pseudo-celebrity, so obviously nothing that bad can happen to her, 'cause, I mean, duh.

Seriously, there's even a passage that details some of the possible side effects of withdrawal from Xanax (this during Chloe's 6-page stint in rehab) that ultimately finishes with: "Fortunately, Chloe's Xanax addiction was not as severe as they come, so she never came close to ending it all." So much for drama and extreme human emotion. Oh well.

Style: 4
I give this book a 4 on style simply because a stylistic choice was actually made in writing it. It follows the same kind of narrative style as The Great Gatsby, where the First Person Narrator (in this case, Nicole Richie herself) relays the story of our protagonist (~~Pre-Rehab Nicole Richie~~ Chloe) while playing only a minor part in the story herself. Plus, the novel contains incredible wordplay like, "But in the boardroom, everything sounds boring." Get it? 'Cause "board" and "bor" are — ya know what, forget it. At least she tried.

General: 3.8
I mean, it's not a bad book I guess. It's just not particularly good, and I don't see a point to its existence other than paying for a new purse for Ms Richie. It wasn't necessarily a painful reading experience. Although in a way, I wish it had been — at least that way it would have been more dynamic. You can tell that Richie (assuming it was actually written by her, and not a ghostwriter) has personal stakes in the topic of drug addiction, because those moments in the book tend to have the presence and depth. But overall, there's no lesson, or message, or brilliant illumination of the human psyche, or really even a story, or any of those things that fiction is supposed do.

Overall: 3.7

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe (Charles Yu)

2011-07-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

by Thom Dunn

I've been looking forward to reading this book since I first heard about it prior to its release last year. I was already familiar with Yu's short story collection, Third Class Superhero, and I enjoyed his dry humor, his simplistic approach to complicated scientific situations, and his complicated scientific approach to simple situations. Unfortunately, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe proved to be quite the popular book, and I had difficulty getting my hands on a copy until recently. I rarely approach a modern novel with a full year's worth of hype behind it, so I was increasingly worried about how disappointed I might feel after finally reading it.

Lucky for me, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe quite lived up to all of my expectations.

The premise of the book is absolutely delectable: Charles Yu (the character, not the author) is a time machine mechanic with a Masters degree in Applied Science Fiction. He spends most of his life in his time machine along with his non-existent dog, Ed, who was retroactively removed from continuity but, like all good dogs, still provides his master with unconditional love despite this paradox of causality. He will readily tell the long, possibly detailed story of not meeting The Woman I (he) Never Married. And so on. Charles Yu embarks on a quest to reconnect with his father, during which he accidentally shoots his own Future Self, who gives him a book called How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, which is (or, more accurately, will be) written by Charles Yu (the character — wait, no, the author — oh, whatever).

That should pretty much tell me exactly what to expect from this book — ridiculous, self-referential, incredibly clever nerd humor disguised as ridiculously convoluted techno-babble. Charles Yu uses time travel as a means of exploring language, grammar, and the construction of our own memories. Don't be scared off by all the talk of Closed Timelike Curves and wormholes — even when he rambles on about technical terms you don't understand, he does so in an entertaining, tongue-in-cheek manner:

The base model TM-31 time machine runs on state-of-the-art chronodiegetical technology: a six-cylinder grammar drive built on a quad-core physics engine, which features an applied temporalinguistics architecture allowing for free-form navigation within a rendered environment, such as, for instance, a story space and, in particular, a science fictional universe.

Or, as Mom used to say: it's a box. You get into it. You push some buttons.

In many ways, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe can be seen as a successor to Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Both tell psuedo-autobiographical stories (at least, stories initially inspired by personal histories) through the veil of time travel and other silly tropes of science fiction (fully acknowledging their own absurdities). This gives the author a chance to look at his own (fictionalized) life from the perspective of an outsider. Some of my absolute favorite parts of the story are when Charles Yu uses complex quantum physics (including some made-up psuedo-physical story terms) to discuss his relationship with his father, and the emotions that surround that relationship, as they offer a unique but undeniably sympathetic angle on the situation, something you don't often find when using technical science to explain how you're feeling.

Rating

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, by Charles Yu

Story: 8.0

While the basic story doesn't stray so far from the established tropes of time travel science fiction (paradoxes, timeloops of cause-and-effect, etc.), Charles Yu still manages to create a unique and distinctive fictional world, one that is fully conscious of its own fictional nature but never loses its heart. The characters and situations are as absurd as they are endearing, and almost make you wish that you could live in a science fictional universe with them. But it's the meticulous plotting of such a(n intentionally) convoluted mess that is particularly impressive; Yu manages to spin his readers into a cloud of wacky metaphysical concepts and weird science, but never gets lost himself.

Style: 9.6

Cosines, physics equations, and chronodiegetical substrates have never been so hilarious or easy to understand. Charles Yu writes with an incredibly unique voice, exploring otherwise bizarre and emotionless situations with the raw heart and wonder of a child. The humor is subtle and dry and wildly clever, but the reading feels quick and easy.

General: 9.4

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe is one of the most touching and entertaining books I've read in a long time. If you like humor, read it; if you like stories about father-son relationships, read it; if you like science, read it; if you like science fiction, read it; if you like memoirs, read it. It even manages to use all of those incredibly-clever-but-not-really-anymore-because-duh tropes of metafiction (like writing the story you're reading while you are reading the story that's being written) and makes them feel fresh and enjoyable, and actually have a greater resonance in the story as a whole. While some people might be put off by its seemingly esoteric (or just plain weird) nature, give this book a chance; I don't think you'll regret it.

Overall: 9.00

The Year We Left Home (Jean Thompson)

2011-07-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

by Melanie Yarbrough

I've been frequenting the library like old times lately, and I picked up Jean Thompson's The Year We Left Home. She's written familiar books such as Do Not Deny Me and Throw Like a Girl. It was on display on the New Books table and because of it's interesting cover (so sue me!), I picked it up. Don't you love the lack of consequences when you impulse grab things at the library? Me too.

Thompson's novel is structured by year and character. Throughout the novel, we travel to different parts of the country, getting good clues as to the political and economic climate of the country as well as the family that the novel chronicles. Thompson is strongest when she's in the characters' minds. Each section is written in third person limited, and the outcome is beautiful. Set in a rural farmtown in Iowa, the story starts out in 1973, mostly between Ryan and his cousin Chip, recently returned from Vietnam. Their exchange in Ryan's truck, smoking weed, takes place as much in what Ryan doesn't say as in what the two do say to one another. This introduction to both characters sets up an understanding of the family they come from that is essential to the novel.

My favorite part about the novel's structure was the way it dipped in and out of each character's life, showed us glimpses that we return to later in the book, decades later. The first half of the novel's sections end cliffhanger style. There's a build-up of suspense that creates a sort of sigh of relief sensation when you realize you've reached the half of the book that ties up those loose endings. But there is nothing particularly neat about Thompson's ties. There are lives forever changed by tragedy that we get to see once the initial support of the community dies down and the family is left to fend for itself. We are not present for every character's trajectory of growth, and so it seems that it's the circumstances rather than the journey that Thompson wanted us to focus on. Once history begins, there is no changing it until you are on the other side of it, still alive.

Rating
The Year We Left Home
by Jean Thompson

Story - 6.8
The story is basically centered around family. I enjoyed the way it stretched out, took on the shape of a tree, spreading in all different directions and winding back into itself. There are so many stories in this novel, but Thompson brings each of them back together nicely into one big story about one big family.

Style - 7.2
I'm a big fan of novels in stories, probably because I write stories and feel as though that style is my only chance to actually write a novel. I digress. Thompson doesn't focus on one character too much, and the third person limited of each section lends the perfect amount of distance and insight. I enjoyed seeing the family from all angles.

General - 7.5
I read this book fairly quickly, and that's usually how I judge if I'm really enjoying a book or not. I was eager to return to it, to sneak moments with it, to finish it. Each character is set up, tested in some way, and Thompson returns to each of them after they've moved past these times of trial. Whether they've changed for the better or worse after them, they are still together, still alive.

Overall - 7.2

The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)

2011-06-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

by Emily Steers

If you’re a female between the ages of 13 and 45 and your love of fantasy and science fiction wasn’t completely stomped to pieces by the Twilight franchise, you’ve probably already devoured The Hunger Games and have a likeness of the protagonist on your computer desktop. If you aren’t in that demographic and value strong characters, vivid alternative realities, and unapologetic underdog stories, the first book of The Hunger Games trilogy offers an arresting summer read.

Synopsis

The Hunger Games begins with the first person, present-tense narrative of Katniss Everdeen, a 16 year old woman living in the 12th district of the post-apocalyptic country of Panem. She’s a bit bitter, pig-headed, and armed to the teeth, though the latter is accomplished on the sly, because The Capital likes to keep the regular folk in check with the threats of violence and a perpetual state of near-starvation.

Katniss uses her analog weaponry (bows, arrows, knives, snares) to go hunting in the woods just beyond her district to feed her mother and sister. In true storybook fashion, her saintly father had taught her these skills but was killed off in a mining accident, leaving her mother comatose and unable to care for her two daughters; the entire district remains too poor and completely unable to lend a hand.

If living on the brink of starvation wasn’t a big enough F-U to the people of Panem, the Capital overlords keep an even bigger leash on the people by holding the Hunger Games, an annual event pitting one male and one female teenaged “tribute” from each of the twelve districts in a fight to the death. A televised, must-see-TV fight to the death. Harvested at random through a lottery, it’s “supposed” to be noble to participate in the Games, but obviously no one is too thrilled when the annual reading of names rolls around.

Katniss’s angelic younger sister Prim gets chosen, but Katniss volunteers to take her place. Using the survivalist skills she’s honed over the years hunting and keeping her family alive, Katniss takes to the Hunger Games in an emotionally fraught battle for survival.

Rating

The Hunger Games
by Suzanne Collins

Story—8.8
Suggested to me by a 30+ year-old male friend, never has the story of a teenaged girl’s struggle with high expectations, growing up, and first loves been so completely universal—and, let’s face it, badass. If there’s a struggle to get young boys and men to connect with female protagonists, I suggest The Hunger Games be required reading for middle school classes. Throw out those beat-up copies of Jacob Have I Loved and let the guys connect with a girl who can stand up for herself.

Style—7.5
The writing is filled with technical flaws. It’s difficult to read past the present tense verbs, and character development relies pretty heavily on the narration telling you things about each character rather than having personality traits divulged through action. Essentially, everything is told rather than shown. Additionally, since the world of Panem is entirely fictional and loosely based in reality, new “outs” are created on the fly, which can be beyond frustrating for readers used to more technically flawless books.

General—9.17
This book is difficult to put down. Because of the life-and-death nature of the conflict, the story is cinematic and very compelling. Collins is a young-adult and children’s book writer. Adults will have no problem breezing through the novel, and the content should be considered PG-13 for the gruesome demises of major characters.

Overall: 8.49

Make sure you have a free 24 hours to read this book from cover to cover!

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, part 2

2011-06-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Harry is seriously so annoying in this book.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 20: Hagrid's Tale

What I Did On My
Summer Vacation, Hagrid
Edition: Giants

Chapter 21: The Eye of the Snake

Prof. Umbridge audits
Hagrid's class. Harry kisses
Cho and bites Ron's dad.

Chapter 22: St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries

Weasleys and Harry
head to hospital, visit
snake-bitten Arthur.

Harry overhears
adult conversation: he's
possessed by Voldy!

Chapter 23: Christmas on the Closed Ward

Harry is angsty
until Ginny sets him straight.
Hermy ditches 'rents.

Back at hospital,
Harry and co meet Neville's
gran and addled mom.

Chapter 24: Occlumency

Snape and Harry start
anti-mind-reading lessons
(Dumbledore's orders).

Chapter 25: The Beetle at Bay

Death Eaters escape
from Azkaban. Harry and
Cho go on bad date.

Hermione has
Rita Skeeter write Harry's
story for Quibbler.

Chapter 26: Seen and Unforseen

Tabloid star Harry
sucks at Occlumency and
sees Voldy's bedroom.

Meanwhile, Umbridge sacks
Divination prof. Sibyl;
Dumbledore hires horse.

Chapter 27: The Centaur and the Sneak

Centaur Firenze—new
Divination professor—
says war is coming.

Cho's friend snitches so
D.A. disbands. Dumbledore
evades Fudge, arrest.

Chapter 28: Snape's Worst Memory

With Dumbledore gone,
the twins take their mayhem to
a whole new level.

Then, Harry sneaks peek
at Snape's worst memory: picked
on by Harry's dad!

Chapter 29: Career Advice

Despite Umbridge's
protests, Prof. McG vows to
help Harry find job.

Harry talks through fire.
Twins build portable swamp, fly
off into sunset.

Chapter 30: Grawp

Hagrid's bro-giant
is hidden in the forest.
Weasley is our King.

Chapter 31: O. W. L. S.

Fifth years take tests. Fang,
McG knocked out. Hagrid sacked.
Sirius tortured?

Chapter 32: Out of the Fire

Harry's annoying;
he won't listen to reason
about Sirius.

Rescue plan devised
but thwarted by Umbridge,
who Hermy then deceives.

Chapter 33: Fight and Flight

Umbridge abducted
by centaurs. Then Grawp rescues
Hermy and Harry.

Ginny, Neville, Ron,
and Luna duel Slytherins;
all mount bat-horses.

Chapter 34: The Department of Mysteries

Flight to Ministry:
Harry and friends search for Black,
find only weird rooms.

Chapter 35: Beyond the Veil

Harry finds glass orb;
Death Eaters arrive, chase kids,
try to steal the orb.

The Order joins in.
Dumbledore to the rescue!
Black killed by cousin :'(

Chapter 36: The Only One He Ever Feared

Dumbledore! Voldy!
Duel of the Century! With
help from some statues!

Defeated, Voldy
retreats. Fudge finally sees
Dumbledore was right.

Chapter 37: The Lost Prophecy

Harry learns truth 'bout
Voldy: neither can live while
the other survives.

Chapter 38: The Second War Begins

The Wizarding World
now knows Voldemort is back.
Dark times lie ahead.

Harry heads back home.
The Order inform the Dursleys
they better be nice.

I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts professor...

Fun & Games (Duane Swierczynski)

2011-06-10T03:22:00.000-07:00

by Thom Dunn

The latest novel from Marvel comics scribe and fervent crime fictioneer Duane Swiercyznski, Fun & Games is the first installment in a trilogy of novels featuring Charlie Hardie, an ex-cop (well, cop-ish) with a bloody past. This being a Duane Swiercyznski novel, the obligatory references to his hometown of Philadelphia still manage to sneak their way in, but for this story (and, presumably, the rest of the trilogy), Swierczy exiles his protagonist from this comfort zone and drops him right into the brushfires of Los Angeles.

Fun & Games serves as a kind of love-letter to LA noir and a wake to its history, embedded deeply in the Hollywood Hills. Swierczynski's excitement for the genre bleeds through his prose with a ferocious, whirlwind, almost ravenous energy that engulfs the reader with no apologies, from the epigraphs (quoted from film noir classics and more) to the biting, cynical criticisms of the film/media/LA industries.

It's kind of like Mulholland Drive, except it actually makes sense.*

Synopsis

You know, in a way, I kind of don't want to tell you. Because going into this book, I knew very little about it myself, and that may have made the ride even wilder. But here's at least a bit of background for you.

Charlie Hardie is a man with a past who now makes his living as...a professional house sitter. He arrives in Los Angeles to watch after the home of a successful film composer, who is off on business in Russia for a month. He is surprised to find a young, attractive movie star named Lane Madden hiding in the house, tripping on a cocktail of cocaine and heroin and hysterically ranting about some mysterious "Them" that's been trying to kill her. Charlie soon realizes that Lane Madden may not be as paranoid — or as innocent — as she appears, and finds himself wrapped up in a conspiracy of Hollywood insiders who might actually control the world through their (literal) plotting.

Rating

Fun & Games, by Duane Swierczynski

Story: 8.6

Fun & Games is the kind of story that grabs you by the shirt in the first few pages and then throws you off a cliff. And since it's the first book in trilogy, the ending offers you a small foothold, but its only enough to brace yourself for a moment before you continue falling down the rabbit hole. Swierczynski is an intricate master plotter, and the story is full of moments that shock you and then make you smack yourself in the head and go "Duh! Of course that was going to happen!" Everything has a payoff, almost as if Swierczynski wrote and solved a mathematical proof for an unashamedly juiced-up pastiche of pulp/noir stories.

Style: 7.8

While omniscient 3rd person narrators have never turned me off from a story, I have to admit that I've never been particularly fond of them (I like my narratives to have limits, or at least somewhat unreliable). However, Swierczynski employs a unique method here, which is multiple 3rd person limited narrations that hit you like a slurry. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given its affections for Hollywood and moviemaking, Fun & Games flows like a movie, full of fast-paced jumpcuts and surprising scene changes. Some of these changes come so rapidly after one another that it's hard to keep up (which is part of what keeps the reader on the edge the whole time), especially as it shares the same moment from multiple perspectives (and always in a carefully calculated way — Swierczynski knows how to reveal pertinent information with the strongest impact).

General: 9.4

Not only did I blow through this book in record time, but when I finally reached the end, I immediately tried to figure out when I could get my hands on a copy of the sequel, Hell & Gone. It's like a flash thunderstorm in the middle of a glorious summer day (or maybe that's just the weather outside right now -- yup, looks like). Anyone who considers him/herself to be a fan of mysteries, thrillers, noir, "the dark side of Hollywood," crime stories, or wild conspiracies would be a fool not to read this book. Swierczynski might not be breaking ground with his new Charlie Hardie series, but he's building such a labyrinthine structure of wheels within wheels that it's hard to resist. Fun & Games only shows us the tip of this conspiracy, but its undeniably intriguing, as Swierczynski offers us a well-developed and scathing commentary of what really goes on behind the scenes of Hollywood — and the world.

Overall: 8.6

Fun & Games is available June 20, 2011 from Mulholland Books.

*I actually quite enjoyed Mulholland Drive. I thought it was a very beautiful experimental/slipstream poem, on film. But let's be honest, that movie didn't make any sense.

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, part 1

2011-06-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Wherein Harry apparently goes through puberty.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 1: Dudley Demented

Dudley's soul almost
face-sucked out. Mrs. Figg knows
Harry's a wizard?!?

Chapter 2: A Peck of Owls

Harry gets expelled;
his aunt explains dementors;
Dudley voms on porch.

Plus foreshadowing,
yelling, a bit of intrigue,
and so many owls.

Chapter 3: The Advance Guard

Hodgepodge wizard pack
lies to Harry's guardians
and fly him away.

Moody, Lupin, Tonks,
Shacklebolt; how does Rowling
come up with these names?

Chapter 4: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place

Who's a little prat?
Harry is. He's finally
with friends and flips out.

Chapter 5: The Order of the Phoenix

Sirius explains
the Order, updates Harry
on Voldemort news.

Chapter 6: The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

Summer spring cleaning:
Grimmauld Place dolled up; house-elf
Kreacher hates Hermy.

Younger brother Black
is dead Death Eater. Blacks and
Malfoys: related!

Chapter 7: The Ministry of Magic

Apparently it's
Take Your Youngest Son's Best Friend
Harry To Work Day.

Chapter 8: The Hearing

Cornelius Fudge:
pretty much the wizarding
world's own Judge Judy.

Dumbledore and Figg
to the rescue! Harry is
saved from expulsion.

Chapter 9: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley

Ron, Hermy: prefects!
Mommy Molly Weasley's fear:
her family dead.

Chapter 10: Luna Lovegood

Only Harry and
Loony Luna Lovegood can
see weird bat-horses.

Chapter 11: The Sorting Hat's New Song

Who is this Umbridge
joker, and why is Seamus
suddenly a tool?

Chapter 12: Professor Umbridge

Umbridge is a bitch.
She gives Harry detention
for telling the truth.

Chapter 13: Detention With Dolores

Harry gets "I must not
tell lies" tattooed on his hand
during detention.

Chapter 14: Percy and Padfoot

Sirius speaks through
fireplace. Percy sends Ron mail,
condemns Dumbledore.

Chapter 15: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor

Ministry passes
stricter school laws. Umbridge starts
reviewing the profs.

People seem perturbed
by Umbridge's promotion;
Hermy has a plan...

Chapter 16: In the Hog's Head

Hermy convinces
Harry to head up secret
dark arts defense club.

Less than legal club
formed in dingy side street pub?
Nothing could go wrong!

Chapter 17: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four

All Hogwarts clubs banned,
including those recently
started up in bars.

Sirius attempts
firespeaking with Harry, has
near miss with Umbridge.

Chapter 18: Dumbledore's Army

Start with the basics:
Harry teaches Dumbledore's
Army to disarm.

Chapter 19: The Lion and the Serpent

Harry and the twins
are banned from Quidditch for life
post-punching Malfoy.

Make sure you come back
next week when we finally
learn where Hagrid's been!

If I Loved You, I Would Tell You This (Robin Black)

2011-06-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

By Melanie Yarbrough

Short stories: I can't get enough of them. Last year, I won a copy of Robin Black's collection of stories, If I Loved You, I Would Tell You This from Fiction Writers Review, and it is one of the best collections that I haven't paid for. There are ten stories in this collection, six of which I absolutely loved. This is one of those collections where the title story is definitely the strongest and most haunting. Black's narrator in "If I Loved You, I Would Tell You This" elicits empathy without pity, anger without self-righteousness.

Rating
If I Loved You, I Would Tell You This by Robin Black

Story/ies: 6.0
Like I said, six of these stories I absolutely loved. The other four, however, I felt lacked the rich characters in the other stories. Where structure and experimentation took precedence to character, I felt a little lost and unsatisfied by the end. Luckily, the ratio is 6:4, so I'd say it's a win.

Style: 5.8
Black does not hesitate to experiment, to tell the stories from many different angles, with many different voices. Some of these fall flat, while others fill up to their potential and carried me along to the end of the story when I realized I hadn't breathed since I started. In those, Black's style is strong, melancholic, and self-aware. She stares unflinchingly at the world and tells us exactly what she sees.

General: 6.2
I enjoyed the collection as a whole, despite my affinity for some stories over others. The stronger stories, namely the title story, kept me going and satisfied even when Black's structure or prose fell flat. The best part about short story collections is the ability to move on when one's not particularly working for you, and Black's collection is no different. The stories that worked for me were definitely worth the ones that didn't.

Overall: 6.0

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, part 2

2011-05-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Part 2 of 2! My favorite book! Important stuff happens!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Chapter 20: The First Task

Harry Accio's
broom, avoids dragon, steals egg,
ties for first with Krum.

Chapter 21: The House-Elf Liberation Front

Ron stops being douche,
refriends Harry. Hermy finds
Dobby in kitchen.

Chapter 22: The Unexpected Task

Ron and Harry need
dates for the Yule Ball—Patil
twins will have to do.

Chapter 23: The Yule Ball

Pre-dance: snowball
fights, special socks, Fleur's a bitch.
Dance: Hermy's with Krum,

Fleur looks hot. Post-dance:
Snape is shady, Hagrid's half
giant, Fleur's a slut.

Chapter 24: Rita Skeeter's Scoop

Skeeter's exposé
on Hagrid's past leads to brief
vaca from teaching.

Chapter 25: The Egg and the Eye

Bath time research leads
Harry to believe the next
task involves merfolk.

Then he gets tripped up
in trick step and loses school
map to Prof. Moody.

Chapter 26: The Second Task

Harry grows gills, saves
Ron (and Fleur's sister) from lake,
shows moral fiber.

Chapter 27: Padfoot Returns

Big dog godfather
sneaks into Hogsmeade to dish
old magic gossip.

Chapter 28: The Madness of Mr. Crouch

Harry and Krum talk
Hermy, find crazy Crouch, and
go warn Dumbledore.

Chapter 29: The Dream

Harry passes out
in class and dreams a little
dream of Voldemort.

Chapter 30: The Pensieve

Dumbledore can't
leave Harry alone for five
minutes; the boy snoops.

Harry sticks his face
in a bowl of gooey white
stuff and sees visions.

Chapter 31: The Third Task

Quidditch pitch maze holds
monsters and magic to pass
through for the third task.

Harry battles Sphinx;
Cedric battles Krum; both fight
spider, tie for cup.

Chapter 32: Flesh, Blood and Bone

Oh snap yo! The cup
was a portkey?!? Cedric killed;
Voldy gets new digs.

Chapter 33: The Death Eaters

Daddy Malfoy and
other Death Eaters return.
Voldy monologues.

Chapter 34: Priori Incantatem

Harry, Voldy duel;
Voldy's victims' shadow-ghosts
help Harry escape.

Hmm, I wonder why
Voldy can't kill Harry. Will
this come up later...?

Chapter 35: Veritaserum

Oh $#!* Moody's not
Moody! He's Crouch junior, a
servant of Voldy!

Junior confesses:
killed Crouch senior, helped Harry
win cup/Voldy rise.

Chapter 36: The Parting of the Ways

Harry explains all
to Dumbledore. Minister
Fudge is a dumbass.

Chapter 37: The Beginning

Dumbledore tells school
Voldy's back.Twins given cup
gold to start joke shop.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle
are hexed unconscious on train
for being douchebags.

I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts professor...

OOTP! Part 1! Next week!

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags (Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman, & Meagan McCrary)

2011-05-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

by Suzanne Parker

Synopsis

Based on the blog The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags, The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags outlines the top 200 warning signs you should never ignore, but usually do, when you start dating a guy. Conveniently divided into five distinct parts, the book guides you through every potential dating disaster you may encounter by providing real life examples and anecdotes.

However, it doesn’t tell you that if your guy is weird in bed that you should definitely ditch him. Hey, maybe you like that sort of thing. Instead, it gives you advice to help you figure out whether you can accept his quirks, or whether this “big red flag” is a relationship ender.

From “He’s Not Really Your Boyfriend” to “He Doesn’t Love You” to (my personal favorite) “He’s Just the Worst,” this witty little black book will certainly come in handy at pretty much any point in your relationship. Should you be doing his dishes when you
don’t even live together? Should you let him wear your lingerie even if he claims it’s just for one night? Should you be concerned if you’ve been dating for six months and have never met any of his friends? If you’re in need of further information on any of these topics, you might want to check out this book.

Even if you’re happily committed and not planning on dating again, you can still read this and laugh about someone else’s dating catastrophes and thank your lucky stars you’re done with all that.

Rating

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman, and Meagan McCrary

Story—N/A
While there are plenty of stories in the book—most of them horrifyingly hilarious true accounts—there’s not really a story per se.

Style—6.67
Interesting layout. I like the way it’s divided into different parts and then into different chapters. I also like that it lists the 200 warning signs all together as a quick reference guide. It's highly specific, though, and you have to be looking for exactly this type of book for it to have any real impact.

General—7.33
A good coffee table book. Definitely a conversation starter at a party. The stories are hilarious and fun to read aloud.

Overall—7

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, part 1

2011-05-24T08:57:00.001-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Part 1 of 2 covering my personal favorite book in the series! Super important stuff happens! The last three books are set up! How can you not love it?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Chapter 1: The Riddle House

Voldemort is back,
killing witches and old folks,
Wormtail at his side.

Chapter 2: The Scar

Harry writes letter
to Sirius post-Voldy
dream; past books recalled.

Chapter 3: The Invitation

Grapefruit for breakfast,
World Cup invitation, and
birthday cake for brunch.

Chapter 4: Back to the Burrow

Dursley's living room
destroyed; Dudley poisoned by
the twins' cursed candy.

Chapter 5: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

Ginger twins aspire
to open joke shop. Harry
meets older Weasleys.

Chapter 6: The Portkey

Harry travels to
Quidditch World Cup by old boot,
meets Edward Cullen.

Chapter 7: Bagman and Crouch

Twins bet with bookie
Bagman, are bored by Crouch, both
Ministry high-ups.

Chapter 8: The Quidditch World Cup

Hot Bulgarian
chicks fight off leprechauns, turn
into angry birds.

Krum snags the snitch for
Bulgaria, but Ireland
wins, as twins predict.

Chapter 9: The Dark Mark

Death Eaters—Voldy's
former friends—mess with Muggles
post-match. Party: pooped.

House-elf Winky sacked
when found with Harry's wand 'neath
Voldy's calling card.

Chapter 10: Mayhem at the Ministry

Reporter Rita
Skeeter tears Ministry of
Magic a new one.

Chapter 11: Aboard the Hogwarts Express

Mostly setup: talk
of Hogwarts, other magic
schools, Mad-Eye moody.

Kind of a pointless
chapter, now that I’m really
thinking about it.

Chapter 12: The Triwizard Tournament

No Quidditch this year.
Instead, deadly tournament
against other schools.

Chapter 13: Mad-Eye Moody

Draco Malfoy: the
Amazing Bouncing Ferret!
That's Moody "teaching."

(Books' best line: "Can I
have a look at Uranus,
too, Lavender?"—Ron)

Chapter 14: The Unforgivable Curses

Moody teaches some
illegal spells, and maybe
hits too close to home.

First appearance of
Avada Kedavra. Plus,
Harry gets more mail!

Chapter 15: Beauxbatons and Durmstrang

Huge horses fly huge
woman's students; sailboat sub
carries Krum and co.

The two other schools
competing in Triwizard
Tournament arrive.

Chapter 16: The Goblet of Fire

Cedric, Viktor, Fleur...
Harry? Four champions of
TRIwizard tourney.

Chapter 17: The Four Champions

Gryffindors are stoked,
but everyone else is
pissed Harry got picked.

Moody thinks someone
wants Harry dead and that's why
he's a champion.

Chapter 18: The Weighing of the Wands

Skeeter wants Haryy
as scoop; champions’ wands weighed;
Hermy's teeth enlarged.

Chapter 19: The Hungarian Horntail

Dragon! A dragon!
I swear I saw a dragon!
...Wait...that's Pete's Dragon...

Hagrid lets slip first
task: dragons! Harry talks to
Black via fireplace.

Make sure to check back next week when Harry competes for the Triwizard Cup in part 2!

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

2011-05-17T03:00:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Book the Third, and many people's favorite HP. Since the series plot is thickening, some chapters are going to start getting two haikus. Upgrade!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 1: Owl Post

A little boring:
Rowling recaps Harry's life,
he gets birthday gifts.

Ron's dad wins lotto;
owl cripple brings some letters;
Harry does homework.

Chapter 2: Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

Harry blows up his
cousin's fat aunt all Violet
Beauregard-style. Harsh!

Chapter 3: The Knight Bus

A Miss Frizzle-less
magic bus takes Harry to
The Leaky Cauldron.

Chapter 4: The Leaky Cauldron

Harry lives in a
pub now? Oh, and a psycho
killer wants him dead.

Chapter 5: The Dementor

Harry's happiness
is snacked on by some creepy
reject Scream villain.

Chapter 6: Talons and Tea Leaves

Malfoy almost killed
by magic horsebird thingy
in Hagrid's first class.

Chapter 7: The Boggart in the Wardrobe

There's nothing to fear
but that thing in the staff room
wardrobe—a boggart.

New prof. Lupin is
kinda cool and lets Neville
be the star for once.

Chapter 8: Flight of the Fat Lady

Mass murderer moves
to defacing sentient
works of art. The nerve!

Chapter 9: Grim Defeat

Dog and Dementors
interrupt sporting event;
Harry breaks his broom.

Chapter 10: The Marauder's Map

Twin gingers donate
absurdly powerful map
of school to Harry.

OH$#!&THEPSYCHO
KILLERMASSMURDERERIS
HARRY'SGODFATHER!?!?!?!

Chapter 11: The Firebolt

Hermy tattles, so
Harry's new broom—probs jinxed by
killer Black—taken.

Chapter 12: The Patronus

Professor Lupin
teaches Harry how to shoot
white stuff from his wand...

Ron's rat gets eaten;
Harry gets his broom back, eats
lots of chocolate.

Chapter 13: Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw

Gryffindor wins! And
Sirius Black tries to slice
up Ron with a knife!

Chapter 14: Snape's Grudge

Harry just avoids
expulsion but magical
map confiscated.

Prof. Snape professes
multigenerational
hatred of Potters.

Chapter 15: The Quidditch Final

Hermy quits Psychic
Class, but who cares? GRYFFINDOR
WINS THE QUIDDITCH CUP!!!!!

Chapter 16: Professor Trelawney's Prediction

Even a stopped clock
is right twice a day, and Prof.
Trelawney's broken.

Psychic Prof. predicts
Voldy's return; third-years take
exams; and horsebird...

Chapter 17: Cat, Rat and Dog

Harry and co chase
black dog Black to Shrieking Shack
for well-earned answers.

Eeeewwww! Ron's rat has been
a middle-aged wizard this
entire time? Creeper!

Chapter 18: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Lupin's a werewolf.
Harry's dad and co magic'd
into animals.

Much exposition,
backstory, followed by a
Prof. Snape intrusion.

Chapter 19: The Servant of Lord Voldemort

So Sirius Black
is innocent! Pettigrew—
Ron's rat—was the spy.

More exposition.
Harry finally believes
godfather Black.

Chapter 20: The Dementor's Kiss

Lupin goes werewolf.
Dementors try to make out
with Harry and Black.

Chapter 21: Hermione's Secret

Seriously, Rowling?
Magic I can believe, but
time travel? Get real.

Hermy's necklace is
a time machine. She, Harry
save Black and horsebird.

Chapter 22: Owl Post Again

Lupin resigns; Ron
gets new pet; Hermy gives up
time travel; Summer!

Harry gains pen pal
in convicted murderer
outlaw godfather.

I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts professor…

Make sure to check back next week when we bring you part 1 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, my personal favorite! Until then, keep reading, Genoshans!

The Meowmorphosis (Franz Kafka & Coleridge Cook)

2011-05-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

by Thom Dunn

I hate cats.

Now we've got that out of the way. The Meowmorphosis is the latest installment in Quirk Books' literary mashups (made famous, of course, with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies). This time, however, they change things up a little bit. Rather than adding horror elements to a story, The Meowmorphosis takes an already frightening and bizarre tale — Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis — and injects it with irresistibly adorable charm.

Also giant kitties. Rather than waking up as a large insect, Gregor Samsa instead awakens one morning to find that he has been turned into a cat.

As a pet owner myself (a chinchilla — definitely not a cat), I often find myself trying to ascribe my pet with human emotions and thoughts to accompany her occasionally bizarre behavior. Part of the wonderful charm of The Meowmorphosis is the way that Coleridge Cook manages to do this for his feline protagonist, in an endlessly entertaining manner. He uses language and speech patterns akin to Poe and Lovecraft (I fear that calling it Kafkaesque would be redundant) to describe the satisfaction — and frustration — of a cat being petted, or chasing a piece of yarn, or even napping. The story still retains the same existential angst as the original book, but the tongue-in-cheek humor of a man suffering through these crises as a cat instead of a bug is truly hilarious.

Cook, along with his writing partner Kafka, also uses this technique to espouse philosophy from the mouths of cats, exploring what it is and what it means to be a member of their species. As someone who is not at all a cat lover (I have terribly allergies, and they know I have terrible allergies, so they like to screw with me), I was endlessly entertained by having an eloquent cat postulate about the things that make them superior to humans (because, as we all know, cats do think they're better than us). But Cook & Kafka manage to articulate why cats might feel this way, from their own point of view, and while the end result is humorous, it's also quite insightful. There were a few points in the book where the long-winded philosopher-cat ramblings carried on a bit too long, but for the most part, I was impressed by Cook's ability to get into the minds of an adorable kitty in such an amusing manner.

Rating
The Meowmorphosis, by Franz Kafka & Coleridge Cook

Story: 6.8
Most people are generally familiar with the basic story of The Metamorphosis, even if they haven't read it. For the most part, the story proceeds exactly as one might expect, hardly going past its initial premise but still exploring a plethora of ideas within a limited plot and setting. Basically the entire thing takes place in Samsa's apartment, with him as a giant bug, and then it's over. The Meowmorphosis, on the other hand, takes a bit of liberty with this, and allows Cat-Samsa to escape from the cage of his apartment and run free, as cats are wont to do. I enjoyed this part of the book immensely, but ultimately found myself wishing that there was more of it, and was slightly disappointed in how Samsa's outdoor adventure ended. Still, I commend Coleridge Cook for taking the story in a new and different direction, and I certainly can't blame him for having to adhere to at least some of the story guidelines set by Kafka.

Style: 8.92
Take the proper, long-winded horror prose that we've all come to expect of "classical literature" (specifically the early 1900s). Now add kitties. Some people find that kind of writing to be rather boring, but come on: kitties going on and on in the same way manner? It promises a certainly of ridiculousness, and on that it delivers. Coleridge Cook later lets his own voice shine in the Appendix, which includes a biography of Kafka, as well as Study/Discussion questions based on the book. Here he employs the same dry, ironic humor disguised as formal writing, and it just gets funnier. The Discussion Questions may have even been one of my favorite parts of the book.

General: 8.35
The Meowmorphosis is one of those books that delivers exactly what it promises. If you're a fan of mash-ups and parodies, this one hits the spot. It's a quick, easy read, full of comical beats (I definitely "LOL'd" a few times) and even some philosophical brain food.

Hilarious philosophical brain food.

Overall: 8.02

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

2011-05-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Book two!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Chapter 1: The Worst Birthday

Remember Harry
Potter? Apparently his
friends don't. Bummer, kid.

Chapter 2: Dobby's Warning

Elf Dobby warns, "Don't
go back to Hogwarts," breaks stuff.
Harry: house arrest.

Chapter 3: The Burrow

Twin gingers and Ron
kidnap starving Harry, bring
him to magic house.

Chapter 4: At Flourish and Blotts

Back to school shopping
gone wrong: fist fights, expensive
books, fireplace travel.

Chapter 5: The Whomping Willow

Ron breaks his wand; that's
what you get when you fly a
car into a tree...

Chapter 6: Gilderoy Lockhart

Mrs. Weasley sends
Ron angry voicemail. New prof.
Lockhart is a tool.

Chapter 7: Mudbloods and Murmurs

Ron voms slugs, Harry
hears voices, Slytherins get
new brooms from Malfoy.

Chapter 8: The Deathday Party

Nearly Headless Nick
throws killer party. Cat found
hanging out half dead.

Chapter 9: The Writing on the Wall

Hermione stops
ghost prof.'s lecture, asks about
Chamber of Secrets.

Chapter 10: The Rogue Bludger

Freak sports accident
takes Harry's right arm. First-year
Colin petrified.

Chapter 11: The Dueling Club

Lockhart makes kids fight;
Hufflepuff fauxttacked by snake,
then attacked for real.

Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

What's Christmas without
forced puberty, drugged tweens, and
identity theft?

Chapter 13: The Very Secret Diary

Who is Tom Riddle?
Why was his diary thrown
down a girls' toilet?

Chapter 14: Cornelius Fudge

Hagrid arrested!
Dumbledore kicked out of school!
And Hermione...!

Chapter 15: Aragog

Harry, Ron almost
killed by spiders in Forest;
flying car saves them.

Chapter 16: The Chamber of Secrets

Broken bathroom leads
to Chamber of Secrets where
Ginny Weasley lies.

Chapter 17: The Heir of Slytherin

Memory Voldy
thwarted by Harry; magic
bird real hero, though.

Chapter 18: Dobby's Reward

All's well that ends with
a house elf being handed
a wet freedom sock.

I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts Professor...

Art and Madness (Anne Roiphe)

2011-05-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

by Melanie Yarbrough

Up until recently I've always been a strictly-fiction girl. But after a brief dry spell of creativity and reading inspiration, I decided to ask the powers that be what to read next (read: The Daily Beast). And lucky for me, Liesl Shillinger wrote about Anne Roiphe's most recent memoir, Art and Madness:

Reading Anne Roiphe’s riveting memoir of her tumultuous twenties, Art and Madness, written in a tone of Didion-like detachment, but saffroned with her distinctive, pungent regrets and her curious humility, I marveled at her depiction of George Plimpton’s Paris Review parties in the early 1960s, on the Upper East Side, near Manhattan’s East River. Thirty years later, I had gone to those parties, in those same rooms, when I was the age she was then. They did not resemble the bacchanals she remembers. For a while, I almost envied her. She describes “the heavy air of flirtation, the perfume of illicit sex that wafted through the book-filled rooms of George’s apartment,” and the power games played by the male guests, “the famous men or the would-be-famous men flexing their skills, strutting their stuff, talking of agents and publishers and rights to this or that.”

After reading Roiphe's enthralling account, I felt the same way.

Synopsis

One of the downsides to memoirs like Roiphe's are the poor schmucks like myself who read it and romanticize the Golden Age of writing. I've been doing the same thing as I read Raymond Carver's biography by Carol Sklenicka; naively overlooking the depths of alcoholism, adultery, and poverty to wish that I could live in an era where creative writers - creative minds - could be as adored and sexualized as in the olden days.

But Roiphe is steadfast in her seeming quest to quell any of those romantic ideas. She is brutal. Her past relationships and decisions are far from pretty; they are neither justified nor justifiable. She does not make excuses, instead she admits to giving up on her own writing in pursuit of her first husband's success. It's a frightening tale to read, as a writer myself, especially as a writer who has been struggling lately with the balance of life and the pursuit of a writing career. Roiphe remembers a time when she forgot herself: "I had to learn that muses can be fired or dismissed but writers either do or don't write without permission or encouragement from anyone."

The way she talks about her daughter, her affairs, and how she struggled with love and sex and growing up show life in its messiest of states, the sandpaper underbelly of the creative life.

Rating

Art and Madness by Anne Roiphe
Story: 9.0

While it's difficult to judge the "story" of someone's life, the tales Roiphe tells are intriguing and revelatory. There is not one wasted sentence. From walking through the snow carrying her husband's typewriter even after her water breaks (yes, that water) to multiple affairs including with the founder of The Paris Review, there aren't many dull moments. Even for those not interested in romanticizing the old world of writers, Roiphe has come out surprisingly whole after a difficult road, an inspiring story for anyone trying to recognize themselves again.

Style: 7.5

Shillinger compares Roiphe's style to Joan Didion in her review of the book, and I would have to agree. Roiphe is succinct without being exclusive; she tells you the whole story with a detachment that strips the sometimes heartbreaking parts of distracting emotion. She gets right to the point of the realities of her situation and their consequences. There are lessons without imposed morals.

General: 8.0

While my reasons for reading this memoir may seem a little sick - exploiting another woman's journey in the world of writers to substitute my own lack of revelry - the experience was very different than I intended. Roiphe glares at her past and, thus, so does the reader. Aside from the scandalous moments, the heart of her story is about a woman, a writer, who gave up her passion for writing and lived a difficult period of time for it. No one will fight for what you want, especially if you give it up so easily.

Overall: 8.2

I'd say this is a must-read for aspiring writers everywhere, or anyone who's given up something they felt defined them. Roiphe gives a great description for the feeling of being undefined.

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone/Sorcerer's Stone

2011-05-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

Welcome to the Daily Genoshan's Haiku Review for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, where each chapter gets its own 17-syllable recap! As I mentioned last week, for various reasons I actually used the UK edition, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but they're basically the same thing.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived

Wizard offers cat
candy. Baby with scar dropped
on fat uncle's porch.

Chapter 2: The Vanishing Glass

Ten years later: boy
can do weird stuff; tries to kill
cousin with big snake.

Chapter 3: The Letters from No One

Complaints about strange
letters go unanswered, so
family moves out.

Chapter 4: The Keeper of the Keys

Massive oaf, battered
orphan discuss scholastic
opportunities.

Chapter 5: Diagon Alley

Orphan Harry, oaf
Hagrid get ice cream, go on
wizard shopping spree.

Chapter 6: The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

Harry can't find train.
Red-head Ron ogles, helps out.
Fat kid loses toad.

Chapter 7: The Sorting Hat

Harry: Gryffindor!
Ron: Gryffindor! Annoying
brunette: Gryffindor!

Chapter 8: The Potions Master

Prof. Snape hates Harry.
Annoying Hermione
knows everything.

Chapter 9: The Midnight Duel

Harry breaks rules: learns
to fly, joins a sports team, finds
three-headed guard dog.

Chapter 10: Halloween

Troll loose in Hogwarts.
Harry, Ron defeat it, save
Hermione. Friends!

Chapter 11: Quidditch

Harry plays Quidditch,
nearly dies, almost swallows
snitch. Secrets revealed.

Chapter 12: The Mirror of Erised

Hogwarts for Christmas!
Harry gets presents, can turn
invisible now.

Chapter 13: Nicolas Flamel

Three-headed Fluffy
guards Philosopher's Stone. Snape
wants stone for himself.

Chapter 14: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback

Jerk Malfoy learns of
Hagrid's illegal dragon;
Ron's bro adopts it.

Chapter 15: The Forbidden Forest

Detention in the
Forest: dead unicorn, some
centaurs, Voldemort?

Chapter 16: Through the Trapdoor

Harry and co sneak
off to stop Voldy's theft of
Philosopher's Stone.

Chapter 17: The Man with Two Faces

Surprise! Prof. Quirrell
hosting Voldy parasite.
Harry saves the day.

I guess Hogwarts needs
a new Defense Against the
Dark Arts Professor...

Be sure to come back next week for the Haiku Review of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets!

Announcing: Harry Potter Haiku Reviews!

2011-04-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

by Brian McGackin

That's right. Harry. Potter. Haiku. Reviews.

Starting next week, on a joint venture with 5x500, the Daily Genoshan will be offering a NEW kind of review! Every Tuesday until the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, I'll be posting individual haiku reviews of each chapter, book by book, to give people the chance to catch back up without having to read through all three trillion pages of the series. Every single chapter, from "The Boy Who Lived" to "Epilogue: Nineteen Years Later," will have its own haiku review.

Wanna know when your favorite book will get covered? How about I just give you the whole schedule?

May 3—Philosopher's Stone*
May 10—Chamber of Secrets
May 17—Prisoner of Azkaban
May 24—Goblet of Fire, part 1**
May 31—Goblet of Fire, part 2
June 7—Order of the Phoenix, part 1
June 14—Order of the Phoenix, part 2
June 21—Half-Blood Prince, part 1
June 28—Half-Blood Prince, part 2
July 5—Deathly Hallows, part 1***
July 12—Deathly Hallows, part 2

*Even though I prefer the American editions—I'm partial to the typesetting and Mary GrandPré's art—I'll be using the UK editions for two reasons. The first is that they are smaller and easier to travel with, and the second is that my sister is borrowing some of my American editions.
**Starting with GOF, I'll be breaking the reviews into two parts to make it easier for both you to read and I to write.
***July 5, 2011, is a VERY important day for me, but more on that in a few weeks.

Be sure to check back in next Tuesday for the first set of Harry Potter Haiku Reviews!

Yo Momma So Extraordinary (Zachary Reese and Ethan McCreadie)

2011-04-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

by Emily Zilm

It’s almost that time of year again. You know, that day in May that you never forget. No, not Cinco de Mayo, you drunken fool. Mother’s Day! Yeah, it’s cool. I always forget, too. Maybe this new release from Quirk Books can help you get in the spirit. Thanks to Yo Momma So Extraordinary: A Treasury of Yo Momma Compliments by Zachary Reese and Ethan McCreadie, now there’s a whole new way to express your feelings for that special momma in your life, whether it be your own momma, your momma’s momma, or your cousin's baby momma.

The jokes in Reese and McCreadie’s 144-page-long list of yo momma compliments follow the classic format of the insults that comedians throw at hypothetical mothers and high school boys (and girls) like to sling at their friends (or enemies). But instead, the authors insist that we respect mothers because, in the words of Mr. T, "If it weren't for yo mother then you wouldn't even be here. So you remember, when you put down one mother, you put down mothers all over the world.” Aww, how sweet.

The jokes span a wide range:

Some play up yo momma’s maternal qualities - “Yo momma so fancy she really outdid herself with those bologna sandwiches last Thursday. I love yellow mustard!”

Or her intelligence - “Yo momma so well read I can talk to her about the satirical portrayal of romance in Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises without it seeming weird.”

Then there are the subtly sexual - “Yo momma’s hands are so soft. SO SOFT.”

And the outright dirty - “Yo momma so sweet I call her ‘Dessert.’ But I wish she would understand that I don’t need to eat three desserts in one night.”

But the most clever are those that start off sounding like an insult - “Yo momma has so many cats it’s like DAAAAAMN! Which one should I pet first?”

Through it all, though, the yo momma compliments stay true to a classic yo momma joke in that they still aim to hurt and insult the child of the momma in question. That’s the whole point anyways, right? Reese and McCreadie finally give us a way to get the job done without insulting a mother, who we probably don’t know, and who is probably a very lovely woman. And speaking of lovely women...

Each joke is accompanied by a silly photo illustration starring Kim Carl as the momma in question, surrounded by various goofy twenty-something dudes. Everything about her is the epitome of what a hot mom should be. You get the feeling that she’s one of those women, who turns “30” every year, and might fool you if you didn’t know her kid just turned 23. She’s got that nineteen-fifties sitcom mom twinkle in her eye and is just so classy.

Yo Momma So Extraordinary could be a good gag gift for your own Mama Dukes but may be more appropriate for a new young mother, or that girl you just started dating that you know has a kid but is too afraid to tell you because she doesn’t want to scare you away. Maybe your girlfriend’s teenaged kid thinks you’re sooo lame, but if you gave him/her this book they would start to see you as funny and hip and become best friends with you instead of screaming “You’re not my dad!” all the time. Or maybe you hate the kid and want to make him/her cry. Or maybe you need to freshen up the jokes you sling at your one friend with that smokin’ hot mom. Either way, respect yo momma and don’t forget to tell her how extraordinary she is on Sunday, May 8th!

Rating
Yo Momma So Extraordinary by Zachary Reese and Ethan McCreadie

Style: 4.0
I appreciate Reese and McCreadie’s creative, positive spin on yo momma jokes even though they're not my favorite. I guess the real style rating should be more about the visual style of this book, since it is so colorful. SO colorful. Each joke takes up an entire page in a bold, blocky font on a bold, bright background, opposite a color picture. There are so many colors it’s actually a little bit distracting, but appropriate for the overall look and feel of the book.

Story: 6.0
It’s pretty hard to give a list of yo momma compliments a story rating, so this number is for the pictures. Each single picture depicted the story implied by the joke, and Kim Carl and her co-stars’ poses and expressions may even be better than the jokes themselves. Photographer Steve Berkowitz’s skills ain’t too shabby either.

General: 5.0
It's not so much for reading as it is for flipping through once in a while.

Overall: 5.0

Expiration Date (Duane Swierczynski)

2011-04-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

by Thom Dunn

Most people who know me can vouch for the fact that I love just about anything involving (a) time travel, or (b) noir tropes. Expiration Date, the newest novel by Duane Swierczynski, is a crime/noir novel about time travel, so needless to say, I was pretty excited to read it. It's like peanut butter and jelly, but with more pre-destination paradoxes.

Synopsis
Mickey Wade, the narrator and protagonist of Expiration Date, dies at the end of the novel. And that's just the beginning! (It's a time travel story, your temporal prepositions are bound to get a little messy) Prior to his death, Mickey Wade loses his job as a journalist for an alt-weekly newspaper in Philadelphia, and moves into his grandfather's apartment back in the crumbling neighborhood where he was born. The night that he moves in, Mickey has a few beers with a friend. He pops a handful of expired Advil before bed, and suddenly winds up in 1972. Stranger still, he seems to be invisible, and — oh yeah, his limbs fall off every time they come into direct contact with light. A few hours later, he wakes up in the present, sweating, with his limbs (mostly) intact. But on one of these trips, Mickey meets the 12-year-old boy who lives downstairs — the same boy who grows up and murders Mickey's father.

Swierczynski deals with some pretty heady concepts here, and under less skilled hands, these ideas could have easily stumbled into a convoluted mess. Fortunately, he approaches the story from a stable (and subjectively linear) first-person perspective, and relays the story in simple, relatable terms. Mickey Wade is a character grounded in reality, hard-up on his luck and out of cash, who finds himself thrust into a bizarre situation. This is further helped by Swierczynski's acute attention to detail. From the beer that Mickey drinks to the records that he listens to, Swierczynski writes with a specificity that paint a vivid and familiar portrait of his narrator. A Philadelphia native himself, Swierczynski's cartographic familiarity with the geography of the city helps to immerse the reader in the world he's created — you might not know where you are temporally, but he makes you feel at home spatially, to the point that you feel like you could give directions to a tourist upon your next visit to Philly. (side note: on my last trip to Philadelphia, I consulted Duane Swierczynski on places to go, and he recommended that I check out McGillan's Olde Ale House on Drury Street — the same place that Mickey Wade finds himself in the first chapter of the book. Behold, the power of Twitter!)

Rating:
Expiration Date by Duane Swierczynski

Story: 7.1
On one hand, Expiration Date can be seen as a fairly typical time travel story. It's great appeal, however, is in the way it's told, as well as the personal stories of the characters involved. The book is meticulously plotted and full of wild ideas, but still manages to make for a quick, easy, and ultimately rewarding read. I would also be doing an injustice to the author if I didn't note the clever ending of the book, an ending which is rendered so effectively due to the First Person narration of the story.

Style: 6.7
Duane Swierczynski's prose is simple and effective, and therein lies its power. He is able to express these surreal concepts and experiences in a lucid, uncomplicated manner, which makes the book all the more enjoyable. I actually found the story so compelling that I read it in one sitting; even the most seemingly straightforward and civilian sequences ended with riveting twists that kept the book in my hands. Swierczynski certainly isn't writing poetry here, and he hasn't quite mastered the dense pulpy prose of noir legends such as Raymond Chandler, but his writing still manages to express ideas in an unequivocal fashion.

General: 8
Swierczynski's past works have proven him a master of the crime genre (and Swierczynski himself is a strong advocate of genre fiction as literary fiction), and his recent stint on Cable for Marvel Comics seems to have ignited an interest in time travel stories; by marrying the two, he has created a highly entertaining thriller full of mind-bending, almost Philip K. Dickian concepts that are still grounded in incredibly believable characters.

Overall: 7.267

Laughter in the Dark (Vladimir Nabokov)

2011-04-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

by Melanie Yarbrough

I was excited to read the latest installment for my book club, Vladimir Nabokov's Laughter in the Dark to add to my list of Nabokov novels. Before this book, my list was at a measly one, having read Invitation to a Beheading. I'd begun and abandoned Lolita, so the diversion from the usual suspect was welcome. After two days traveling to and from work on the train, my Nabokov list reached its highest number at two.

Synopsis
It can pretty much be summed up the way Nabokov sums it up in the first paragraph of the novel:
"Once upon a time there lived in Berlin, Germany, a man called Albinus. He was rich, respectable, happy; one day he abandoned his wife for the sake of a youthful mistress; he loved; was not loved; and his life ended in disaster." Of course, as Nabokov also points out, details are always welcome. And what great details they are.

Rating
Laughter in the Dark by Vladimir Nabokov

Story - 4.2: Slightly more than a predictable tale of a man infatuated with his young mistress and the mishaps that happen to him, the story of this novel feels pretty plotty. All of the pleasure is derived from Nabokov's gift with words.

Style - 6.7: Nabokov has a no-nonsense way about his stories. He tells you what's happening and manages to slink between characters' points-of-view without jerking the reader around too much. There is always an essence of tongue-in-cheekness that is the epitome of Nabokov's style, and has managed to win me over twice now.

General - 7.0: Despite the book's plotty feel and several of the characters' stockiness (in that we are told they are nothing more than evil, conniving, etc.), Nabokov's wit and flair for describing every aspect of a room and a moment without exhaustion fill in the gaps. From tragedy to tragedy, there is a balance of feeling guilty for a man whose bad luck can only grow (and does) and understanding that karma, indeed, is a bitch.

Overall - 5.97

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After (Steve Hockensmith)

2011-03-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Out in stores this week is the final installment of the Quirk Classic trilogy that began with Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and continued with Steve Hockensmith's own Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls.

Synopsis

Dawn of the Dreadfuls only earned a 7.62 in its review here. While still a fairly high score, it's abysmal when compared to the 9.22 received by the original, the 9.17 received by Ben H. Winters' Android Karenina, and the 8.89 for Winters' Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. So, understandably, I was a little nervous heading into Dreadfully Ever After. Thankfully my apprehension was completely unnecessary.

P&P&Z was simply a retelling of Jane Austen's masterpiece Pride and Prejudice, a Regency-era tale of wit and romance surrounding one Mr. Bennet's five daughters, but with zombies. Dawn of the Dreadfuls acted as a prequel, shining light on the story behind the Bennet girls' martial arts upbringing. Dreadfully Ever After is the true sequel to P&P&Z that I think many people have been waiting for. The novel takes place several years after the marriage of Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy, the final act of the original book. The Darcy's, once an abundantly happy couple, have fallen into a state of languor. Mrs. Darcy is depressed by the fact that it is not considered proper for a married woman in polite society to take up her sword and slay the undead. Mr. Darcy, ever the caring husband, is frustrated by his lack of ability to cheer up the woman he loves. All of this doubt and unhappiness is thrown brutally into their faces when Fitzwilliam Darcy is bitten by one of the sorry stricken. Elizabeth, mad with grief over the impending zombification of her husband, and feeling guilty over the fact that she could have prevented the tragedy had she been carrying her katana, pistols, or even a throwing star, accepts assistance from her most hated nemesis, running headfirst down a path of shame and subterfuge in an attempt to cure the good Fitzwilliam.

In Dreadfully Ever After, Steve Hockensmith is finally able to open himself up as a writer. With Dawn of the Dreadfuls, he was following up a huge success—one that had Jane Austen as a cowriter, no less—and was burdened even further by the fact that he was writing a prequel. Certain characters needed to be included, certain events needed to transpire, and certain questions needed to be answered. Not only that, but he wasn't really allowed to kill anyone important, which is always annoying. Dreadfully Ever After was essentially a blank slate for Hockensmith, and he made great use of the opportunity. While he remained true to each character's original motives, Hockensmith had the freedom to usher in growth for several of the Bennet sisters, making them much more interesting to read. Kitty Bennet, finally free from the shadow of her younger, but more headstrong, sister Lydia, makes great strides in self-discovery here. Even Mary, the middle Bennet sister—and certainly the most boring—is given new life and purpose. Hockensmith accomplishes all of this without any irrational character leaps or unexpected decisions; their progressions are fluid and natural.

Increased character growth isn't the only byproduct of Hockensmith's newfound freedom, though. No longer tied to points in a future story, the author physically takes the characters to new places as well. The plot is completely original, and introduces several new concepts and archetypes to the zombie mythos in general. While much of the story was predictable, especially the romantic attachments of several major characters, Hockensmith can only be applauded for maintaing that highly recognizable aspect of Austen's writing without the aid of a base text. At no point in time does anyone truly doubt that Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy will end up married in the original novel. The joy of the read comes from the journey that the two lovers take to reach each other. Such is the case with Dreadfully Ever After. It is crystal clear that certain characters are burdened by a mutual attraction, despite class, race, and, in some cases, wooden barriers. Watching characters slowly fall for each other in spite of themselves is always fun.

Before wrapping up, though, one point should be made absolutely clear: the story itself is fantastic. Hockensmith is much funnier this time around, which is probably another byproduct of his creative freedom. Austenian writing, already among the most tongue in cheek in history, is updated and zombified to the nth degree here. Add tremendous amounts of gore, ridiculous conspiracy theories, and attempted regicide, and you've got the recipe for a novel that could have easily stood out strongly on its own. As it happens, though, the book sports some of the most memorable and recognizable characters in all of literature. While having read the first two novels will certainly make this one more interesting—the original is a must-read anyway—Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After is actually perfectly enjoyable by itself. Highly, highly, highly recommended.

Rating

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After
by Steve Hockensmith

Story—8.23
Honestly, I liked being able to predict certain aspects of the story. I was curious to see how smoothly Hockensmith could work everything into its final place. It also made the plot points that were unexpected even more of a surprise.

Style—8.1
Very much what I was expecting thematically, but it was nice to see that the quality was there to support the tone. Also, Hockensmith introduces a few ingenious new concepts into the zombie world. Maybe they existed already, but I've never seen them, and I think he deserves credit for his originality.

General—9
This is not a difficult book to read. While it's fun and engaging, though, it is most definitely not for people who don't enjoy zombies. The other Quirk Classics could get away with it a bit, because they were more strictly based on classic literature, but this is its own story. That's part of the reason I enjoyed this one so much, but it's also part of the reason why some people might not want to check it out.

Overall—8.44

Be sure to go out and pick up Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After now that it's out in stores! And just in case you've forgotten, here's a recap of all of the other Quirk Classics and their DG ratings!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
The original!—9.22

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
by Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters
More Jane Austen, but this time with a new coauthor!—8.89

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
by Steve Hockensmith
Prequel to the original, and Steve Hockensmith's first foray into Regency-era zombieness!—7.62

Android Karenina
by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters
Ben H. Winters' second title, the first non-Austen Quirk Classic, and my personal favorite!—9.17

Keep reading, Genoshans!

The Art of Racing in the Rain (Garth Stein)

2011-03-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

By Emily Zilm

I haven’t read a book narrated by an animal since I was in grade school. Yes, it was The Hundred and One Dalmatians. Classic. The Art of Racing in the Rain is also told from a dog’s perspective, but it’s for grown ups. This one is less like an adorable animated film and a little more like Air Bud got together with a Nicholas Sparks novel and made a baby, though.

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein follows Enzo the dog’s perception of the life of his owner, Denny, a husband, father and aspiring race car driver. Once I got past all the mental pictures of a dog with a CGI mouth that speaks to humans who can’t hear him, there was a rather cliche but decently crafted story under there about struggle and not giving up.

Denny works at an upscale auto shop and dreams of getting a seat driving in a Formula One race and finishing first. He has a young daughter, Zoe, and a wife, Eve, whose parents think he’s not a good enough husband or father. When Eve is diagnosed with brain cancer (Enzo smelled it long before, as dogs do), a string of seemingly overwhelming obstacles threatens to forever block his road to success. I won’t tell you how the whole scenario unfolds, but it’s all pretty predictable as each point of conflict is heavily foreshadowed. Stein doesn’t seem to be one for surprising readers, so do not prepare to have your mind blown.

In general, I wasn’t sold on the idea of a dog narrating this book from the start, and at times it seemed contrived and gimmicky. However, if the lovable Enzo weren’t telling the story this would probably be just another so-so novel about a guy having a hard time in his life. Enzo’s voice added a certain charming quality to the story and it’s delivery. It also provided opportunities for clarity, impartiality, or humor in places that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. However, I would have liked to see Stein really hone in on Enzo’s role as storyteller to convey the meaning and emotion behind the plot. Enzo just seemed too human. He even remarks throughout the entire book about his desire to be human and expresses feelings of resentment about not being able to help people in the ways they help each other. This does ultimately have a purpose in regards to the plot, yet it seemed as though Stein missed opportunities to really use Enzo’s voice as a lens through which the reader could view the story from a truly different perspective. Despite my underwhelmed attitude towards the book as a whole, there were instances in which Enzo’s inability to control his actions did make me laugh, and his raw emotions made me truly angry or sad alongside the other characters.

Rating
The Art of Racing in the Rain
By Garth Stein

Style - 4.3

It was really hard for me to get past the cheesy aspects of the dog narration, but I eventually did. Most books like this usually fall clearly on one side of the line between smart and lame, most on the latter side, but this one manages to straddle it. It had all the cliche aspects that I expected, but at most times where I was sure I’d find a shortcoming or hole in the story, I didn’t. And despite the heavy foreshadowing and all of the repetition of inspirational race car driving metaphors, Stein managed to maintain a nice flow. It was an easy read with little thought required of the reader. Also, I do most of my reading during my hour-plus-each-way daily commute on the bus and train with multiple transfers, so I really appreciated that all the chapters were short.

Story - 4.0

This book does not have the most complex or original story, and it’s easy to anticipate what comes next. Sure there are a lot of cliche elements that can get irritating, but what I like about this story is that it doesn’t try to be anything it’s not. It’s the kind of story you can read with your brain on autopilot and not miss anything because there are no deeper layers.

General - 4.0

Overall it’s a really lighthearted, yet serious and emotional story about a man, his dog, his family, his career, and his struggle to balance his love for each while keeping his head up in the face of hardship. If you’re looking for a great, earth-shattering masterpiece then you should keep looking. But if you’re in the mood for a really quick, relaxing read, then you might consider The Art of Racing in the Rain. It’s like one of those movies you flick on during a Sunday afternoon because you don’t have to think too much about it. Reading it won’t change your life, but it passes the time.

Overall - 4.1

The Nightly News (Jonathan Hickman)

2011-03-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

by Thom Dunn

"The VOICE says: When killing activists, never shoot for the head, always aim for the heart"

Jonathan Hickman has received a bit of attention as of late for killing off the Human Torch in the monthly ongoing Fantastic Four comic book series. But before becoming one of the Architects of the Marvel Comics Universe, Hickman first made his mark on the world of graphic literature in 2008 with a creator-owned book called The Nightly News.

The Nightly News is the story of a cult of domestic terrorists referred to as the Brotherhood of the Voice that is determined to take down the American news media. Each member of the Brotherhood has had his or her life destroyed by subjective reporting — by becoming stories, rather than facts. The book deals heavily with themes of indoctrination and control — both the ways in which the news media influences the masses, and the ways in which The Voice (standing in for any cult leader) manipulates his own subjects. It is propaganda about propaganda, a sprawling conspiracy thriller set against a backdrop of contemporary politics and frighteningly modern issues, full of ideas that challenge and question the status quo.

But not without challenging and questioning itself first.

From the book's subtitle, "A Lie Told In Six Parts," to the clever footnotes on the first page of every chapter ("Note: All violence in this book should not be considered a reflection of the author. I give to charities, play with children, and love cooking"), Hickman constantly calls his own authorial reliability into question, which only further enforces the labyrinthine manipulations and wheels-within-wheels that the narrative claims to be exploring. For the most part, the story is told from the point of view of the leader of the cult, The Hand of the Voice. Thus, as a reader, it is our initial inclination to accept or agree with the things that we are being told — but then something about the narrative makes you realize that this is precisely the kind of dogma fed to and by fanatics or extremists. And then you realize just how easily you went along with it yourself. And worse, that maybe there's a part of you that agrees with these extremist views.

This opaqueness and ambiguity is greatly assisted by Hickman's incredible artwork. It is not a comic book, nor a sequential narrative; The Nightly News is an impressive piece of graphic literature. The artwork is a breathtaking amalgamation of infographics (charts and facts that are just as apocryphal as the rest of the narrative), photo-renderings, comic art, and words that together weave a story of intrigue and deception that constantly looks back in upon itself. A single page might treat you to talking heads with dialogue bubbles, first person narration from The Hand of the Voice, interjections or "facts" from the Voice itself, plus facts about corporate ownerships, and a few witty asides from a disembodied "authoritative" first-person (whom we are led to believe is Hickman himself, but can we ever really be sure?). The sequence of events in a given page is often ambiguous, which echoes the theme of manipulation within the story and recreates the experience for the reader while also rewarding multiple re-readings. Jonathan Hickman truly pushes the limit of what is possible with graphic narrative.

The only real drawback of the story is in the development of the characters. Hickman himself claims in the afterword of the book that the large cast is "often intentionally ambiguous," and while this certainly resonates with the thematic nature of the story, it makes it difficult to connect with any of the characters. The highly stylized nature of the artwork also makes it difficult sometimes to distinguish between characters (note: pay close attention to the limited color palette used in each scene). It is the ideas that drive this story forward, with help from the plot; the characters only exist as a means to deliver both of these things to the reader. Still, I cannot help but think that an emotional anchor with which a reader could more easily sympathize would have greatly helped the story. While I do not doubt that this was at least somewhat intentional on Hickman's part, it nonetheless makes it harder for a reader to get a grasp on an already challenging and onerous tale.

Rating
The Nightly News
by Jonathan Hickman

Story: 5.7
While a story told (mostly) from the point of view of political extremists is certainly intriguing, Hickman loses points in this area due to the lack of distinct character development. As mentioned, it is the ideas that drive the reader's interest more than the story.

Style: 10
Simply put, The Nightly News is absolutely unlike anything you have ever read. It is a unique marriage of graphic design and words that sends you spiraling down a rabbit's hole that lands you back on top of yourself, before falling through the hole again in an endless loop.

General: 7.8
The Nightly News has layers enough to captivate nearly any willing reader, and while it might seem off-putting at first, it is well worth the journey. It doesn't answer any questions, and it's possible it won't even give you any new ideas, but it will certainly make you think. Some people might scoff at its dogma, but once you reach the end, you'll find yourself wondering just what Hickman's agenda was along...

Overall: 7.83

Read a free preview of Chapter 1 (pdf)

All the King's Men (Robert Penn Warren)

2011-03-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

By Melanie Yarbrough

Synopsis

This is the story of the rise and fall of Willie Stark, who strikes a resemblance to the real-life Huey "Kingfish" Long of Louisiana. Published in 1946, perhaps the story of a politician who starts out with the best intentions and ends in corruption seems a bit dated. Put Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert on pause for a moment, and watch it happen in Robert Penn Warren's beautiful and harsh look into the difficulties of making everyone happy, including yourself.

Willie Stark is a familiar guy, especially if you're from the South like I am. He understands what his constituents want because he is one of them. It may sound like a page right out of W or Palin's campaign books, but the story of Willie Stark is rich with predicament and the kinds of justifications that pile on top of one another until the whole house is different from the blueprints.

Side note: While I've never seen any of the movies, it is my understanding that Sean Penn plays Willie in one of them. Please don't hold that against the book.

Rating
All the King's Men
By Robert Penn Warren

Story: 5.5 - While not the most original of stories, Warren's beautiful descriptions and strong, sympathetic characters take over the story and make it their own.

Style: 7.3 - Warren manages dialect without cheap apostrophes or misspelled words. The Southern drawl is present in the dialogue, and the heat of the setting is present in the descriptions. He does not rush through the story, instead allowing you to savor each bit.

General: 8.5 - The book didn't win the Pulitzer for nothing. This story has been told, will be told, and will occur in real life again and again. Whether or not it will be told in such a beautiful, patient, or sufficient way remains to be seen.

Overall: 7.1

Note on versions of the book: There are some versions that use a different name than "Willie Stark." I'm not sure the origin of this change, but I can tell you that I have read parts of the version with the different name and it doesn't read as well as the Willie Stark version. The cover pictured above is the book I read.

Unimaginable (Tom Pinchuk/Kurt Belcher)

2011-02-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

You may remember Tom Pinchuk from last year's Why Buy Hybrid Bastards!? segment. His newest OGN, Unimaginable, just hit stores this week, and is every bit as quirky and high-concept as his past efforts.

Synopsis

In Unimaginable, strange girl named Stump wakes up in a dream world where she is put to work as a Solver, someone who is tasked with solving problems of all sizes and natures. She is aided by two cooky Solver sidekicks, Lank and Chin, who insist on following the rule book when confronting each problem. Stump, on the other hand, uses her own mix of common sense and absurd logic to overcome the obstacles she faces. Behind all of these problems are the Unimaginables, creatures so terrifying and powerful that no one can even imagine who, what, when, where, why, or how they are. Stump and her fellow Solvers must come up with creative ways to thwart the Unimaginables ever more complicated and dangerous schemes.

What makes Unimaginable unique is the accessibility of the metaphors at play throughout the story. While not necessarily marketed as a children's book, the playful tone and proverbial nature of the protagonist's challenges are reminiscent of morally-centered children's fare. Stump faces her problems head on, and encourages her accomplices to not be afraid of coming up with innovative solutions. It's actually quite charming how Pinchuk keeps the allegorical problem-solving nature of his plot so readily accessible on the surface of the narrative.

There are plenty of cute moments in the book where characters use dream logic or some other absurd literalism to solve a problem, but really you want to read this one for the overall message. Kurt Belcher's art is a bit chaotic, and the lettering leaves much to be desired. If you can get into the story, though, those things can be overlooked. I wouldn't recommend Unimaginable if you're a die-hard comics fan looking for a challenging or powerful read, but this book seems like it would be a fantastic choice for introducing a younger reader to the medium.

Rating

Unimaginable
by Tom Pinchuk and Kurt Belcher

Story—6.67
Not very challenging, but a cute and quirky concept that the plot clings to genuinely.

Style—6.83
Belcher's art is not for everyone, but it certainly has a distinct style, and Pinchuk's writing is clear and easy to follow.

General—7
If you've got a young one at home who you're trying to get interested in comics, or reading in general, Unimaginable would be a great place to start. That is probably the exact opposite response that one would have to Tom Pinchuk's previous OGN, Hybrid Bastards!, which shows that the man's got range.

Overall—6.83

Keep reading, Genoshans!

THE BOOK OF LIES by Brad Meltzer

2011-02-11T09:21:00.000-08:00

Synopsis

Despite being the most well-known murder of all time, the weapon with which Cain killed his brother Abel remains unknown. The Bible is vague on Cain's ultimate fate as well — while we know that God reprimanded him for his actions, it is not revealed how or when he actually died.

On an unrelated note, Mitchell Siegel, father of SUPERMAN creator Jerry Siegel, was mysteriously shot and killed when Jerry was young. Neither the murderer nor the murder weapon were ever identified; in interviews, Jerry would tell that his father died of a heart attack.

If you've ever wondered about the connection between the original Biblical murder and issue #1 of SUPERMAN IN ACTION COMICS, then Brad Meltzer's got your ticket. He took two seemingly unrelated stories and through them weaved a labyrinthine conspiracy thriller, a Da Vinci Code for comic book fans, except good.

The story follows Calvin Harper, a former Homeland Security officer who now works for a homeless shelter in Miami, driving around in a van and picking up vagrants off the street. One night he comes upon his estranged father in a park with a fresh bullet wound. Calvin doesn't trust this as a chance meeting, and soon finds himself wrapped up in an elaborate search for Cain's original murder weapon (an artifact that could potentially uproot the entire Christian establishment), with nothing but a mint condition copy of ACTION COMICS #1 as his guide. Meanwhile, he and his father are pursued by a devoted Cain worshipped named Ellis Belasco. (CALvin and ELlis? Get it?...oh. Ya know, don't worry about it)

Brad Meltzer is a talented writer; you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would argue with that fact. I had heard nothing but high praise for him, with reputable creators touting him as "a master of structure," and so forth. Even the trailer for the book (below) features Damien Lindolf, Joss Whedon, and Brian K. Vaughan worshipping at the altar of Meltzer. As such, I was initially disappointed in The Book of Lies, because it was only good. It's nothing groundbreaking, nothing that will be studied in universities for years to come and mined for its literary richness.

But as I continued reading and found myself wrapped up and intrigued by the story, I realized — that's okay. Not every story has to blow my mind open and change the way the world looks. I started the book with unfairly high expectations, but ultimately enjoyed myself. Brad is a master plotter capable of writing sleek and thrilling prose. The characters never felt truly real and alive, but they were richly developed enough to service the story, and each fulfill their given roles. I cared less for them than I did for the Byzantine conspiracy that drove them, but I didn't mind letting them guide me there either.

REVIEW

The Book of Lies
by Brad Meltzer

Style — 6.0
Meltzer is clearly a competent writer, but his prose isn't particularly colorful or imaginative. It's effective and thrilling, but not especially fanciful. He does lose points, however, for including multiple lines of dialogue like, "This isn't just some action movie cliché!" or "This isn't like some covenient thriller novel, this is serious!" As you can probably guess, everytime a character uttered something along those lines, it actually was a typical action/thriller movie/novel moment. Which is fine, but pointing it out to me (even if the irony wasn't intentional) pulled me straight out of the story, every time. I was also bothered by the inconsistency of perspective — different chapters were told from different characters' points of view, but the Calvin chapters were in First Person, while everyone else was in Third, and there was really no reason for this (especially since there were a few parts that focused on Calvin written in Third Person). It may just be me, but I generally prefer my perspectives to be all or nothing.

Story — 6.8
The clever and creative connection between the murder of Abel and the first issue of Superman, and the accompanying conspiracy of Bible re-interpretations was endlessly captivating. Meltzer certainly did his research, and keeps the mysteries coming all the way through the end, slowly revealing his cards and twisting the plot around more. It's a great idea, and the plotting is masterfully executed. That being said, the characters hardly mattered to me at all — I just wanted to knew the truth about the relationship between Cain and Superman.

General — 6.7
Once I got over my expectations for the book to be the modern day Ulysses, I really enjoyed it. It was an easy read, always entertaining, and endlessly intriguing. If I had found this on the paperback rack at the airport, I would have thought it was incredible. Meltzer is certainly a step above your average paperback thriller, but certainly not yet in the upper echelon of literary masters. He just writes really enjoyable books, and if you're looking for a good read, it's absolutely worth checking out.

Overall — 6.5

Cathedral (Raymond Carver)

2011-02-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

Cathedral is Raymond Carver's fourth short story collection. Though the collection is most famous for its title story, each story reveals Carver's talent and dedication to the ordinary as extraordinary.

Synopsis

If you're unfamiliar with Carver's work or style, I am tempted to ask what is wrong with you. That being said, you have an exciting opportunity to delve into the works of one of my favorite short story writers. His intensity and deceitfully quiet writing never fails to wake me up to the hidden meanings in everyday life or just knock me out of whatever writing slump I'm in at the time. From genuinely funny and charming characters in "Feathers" (one of my favorites) to the eerie sound of a phone ringing in "A Small, Good Thing," Cathedral explores the gamut of human failure and, thus, emotion.

Highlights

It's hard to review a collection of short stories without being tempted to write about each story, which would be tedious and besides the point. Instead I'll highlight some of my favorite stories, ending with the most famous title story that closes the collection.

"Feathers"

Never has a short story made me laugh harder than this one. Carver manages to write about a woman who keeps her old jacked up teeth on a TV, a peacock, and an ugly baby without ever leaving the realm of reality or believeability. The couples in this story aren't perfect; each half of each couple has their flaws and Carver shows them to us not merely to endear them to us, but to explain what lies ahead of them. He hints at a bleaker future, when all of the hope and optimism that they experience in one night has been drained from them. Rather than sucking the joy out of the happiness they do get to experience, however, Carver skillfully displays the ebbing and flowing of life and the futility of trying to guess what's ahead.

"Preservation"

This story strikes me as relevant to the current economic state in America. Though this collection was published first in 1981, the themes and despair in "Preservation" rings true today. There is a universality to hopelessness that transcends time and circumstances, and Carver was a master at relaying that in his stories. The narrator's husband loses his job, and the rest of the story is the slow descent that occurs afterward. The story is strongest in its unexpected moments. The narrator is strong, but not stronger than the forces against and we can't help but watch and wait, guessing which straw will be the one to break her back.

"Cathedral"

In this, one of Carver's most famous stories, there is just as much misunderstanding and miscommunication as in his other stories, but there is an underlying hope that makes it a lighter note to end the collection on. The narrator grapples; there is the understanding of blindness and an attempt, rather than a resignation, to communicate.

Rating

Cathedral
by Raymond Carver

Stories: 10 - This is one of my favorite collections of Carver's stories, as it travels the range of his humor and his despair.

Style: 9 - You can't help but read Carver with the background filter of how autobiographical his writing is. Stories like "Chef's House" and "Where I'm Calling From" hit closer than close to home, and his quiet and honest style resonates long after the story is through.

General: 10 - I'm biased; Carver has played a major role in my growth as a writer, as a reader, and as a writer who reads.

Overall: 9.67 - Take this glowing review with a grain of salt, but only after you've read the collection for yourself.

Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)

2011-01-28T12:41:00.000-08:00

Spoiler Alert: Great Expectations is a fantastic book. I mean, it's Dickens. Everyone should read Dickens. This review is less about the quality of a novel already widely accepted as the work of a master craftsman, and more about how I read the book. Let me explain.

Synopsis?

Two highly influential events occurred almost simultaneously at the end of 2010. First, on December 2, 2010, Oprah Winfrey announced her 65th selection to her infamous book club. The new addition, actually two books, was the Penguin deluxe double edition of two Charles Dickens classics, A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations. The selection was slightly controversial—at least to those interested in such things—because it was only the second book selected in 2010 (Jonathan Franzen's Freedom being the first), and only the fifth since the beginning of 2008. To choose a pair of undeniable classics such as these was an extremely safe bet for Oprah's Book Club, which has arguably yet to recover from the fallout of James Frey's A Million Little Pieces scandal of 2005. Oprah even went so far as to admit on her show that she had never read Dickens before. Hmm, I wonder how much Penguin had to shell out to make the list...

The second event that brought me to this week's read was the much-anticipated launch of Google Books, also in December of last year. After years of planned launches and inevitable delays, mostly due to the mounting number of lawsuits the idea spurned, Google's attempted dive into the digital book world was met with moderate fanfare for about a day and a half. Google claims that there are 129,864,880 unique books in the world, and is devoted to scanning them all. At present, Google has scanned over 15 million of them. Of those 15 million books, guess which one comes free when you sign up for the service; that's right, Great Expectations.

Now, Google Books both is and isn't in direct competition with the current major e-book names. There is no Google-specific e-reader, so physical sales of the Nook, Kindle, and other devices are seemingly not affected. Google does offer the ability to synch apps on multiple devices to your account, though, enabling readers to enjoy a book on their Android, iPhone, iPad, iPod, Nook, or even directly on their computer, which definitely does compete with Amazon, Sony, and Barnes & Noble. Not only that, but also, when you use Google to search for a book title, one of the hits that comes up is always going to be a link to Google Books, which most certainly has its benefits.

What does this have to do with me, you ask?

Well, it's important to note that, while Google Books is absolutely free, and comes with a wide variety of public domain titles, it does not hold any exclusive access to these titles, for obvious reasons. A book like Great Expectations can be obtained for free just as easily on a Kindle or a Nook. While it is nice to be able to read books on the web, you could always read free books on the web; you just had to find them. Google puts them all in one place. As for paid books, Google's prices are virtually identical to Amazon's, so it all comes down to the reader. Do you like reading on a computer screen? or would you rather help your eyes and use e-ink? Are you in the market for an e-reader? or would reading on your computer or smart phone suffice? Are digital books something you plan on investing a lot of money in? or just something you tend to enjoy when you have the time? All of these questions are important when determining how exactly to get your Oprah Book Clubbing on.

As for the read itself, it honestly took me a while. Great Expectations is a phenomenal book, much better than I anticipated. It is highly suspenseful, colorful and vivid, and downright hilarious at times. Dickens' characters are, as always, larger than life, and tend towards ridiculous mannerisms and habits of speech. I enjoyed every minute of this book. Why did it take me so long, then?

Mostly because of Google Books. I tried reading in a variety of ways—my phone, online, my girlfriend's Kindle—and some were much better than others. The Google Books app on my iPhone is definitely handy to have, and I did most of my reading that way, but it was slow going. The pages are obviously very small, and the app itself has trouble handling anything else you might be using your phone for at the time. Pages need to reload after every incoming text message, even if you hit close and ignore the message. Also, Google' scanning process, while revolutionary in its speed, is prone to glaring typographical errors that are difficult to ignore. The app makes up for these faults in several ways, though. There are options that allow you to change your font, font size, and font and background color, and there's even a function that let's you read white on black, which is much easier for reading in the dark. Also, it is extremely easy to move around within the book, and the touch screen is utilized to great affect.

I did not read much of the book on my computer, as it ended up being much more trouble than it was worth. When I'm reading, I don't like to have to worry about clicking or scrolling with a mouse/trackpad to flip a page, and the glare of a computer screen tends to affect my eyes much more than my phone screen. Also, books are meant to be held in your hands, even e-books. As bizarre as it feels to be saying this, we're at the point technologically where laptops are bulky, especially for a task as simple as reading a book.

The simplest way to just read Great Expectations was definitely the Kindle. The Google Books app has a fun little page-turn effect, but with the Kindle you get a larger screen and significantly less typos. I won't say that there were zero typos, because I doubt that that can be said for any book, but I certainly did not notice any. E-ink is a genius invention, and truly simulates a paper page, making for a seamless reading experience. Most of the time. The problem with the Kindle is that it is extremely difficult to use for anything besides reading. Without a touch screen, the Kindle's controls feel slow and complex. Maybe I'm just spoiled at this point in my technological life, but I feel like we shouldn't be going backwards in terms of user friendliness. If you want to just sit down and read your e-book comfortably, wherever and whenever you like, then the Kindle is perfect. However, sometimes it's just easier to read on a device that you're already using, like your iPhone or iPad. Of course, Kindle does have its own app for those devices as well, so...

Rating

Great Expectations
by Charles Dickens

Story—8.3
Dickens is one of the all-time bests at throwing interesting characters into unexpected situations.

Style—8.17
He's also pretty spectacular at writing about mundane events in a way that really gives them flavor and life. He throws metaphors around like they're falling from the sky; it's ridiculous, I love it.

General—9
Absolutely fantastic. I've seen the Ethan Hawke/Gwyneth Paltrow movie, and it doesn't nearly do this book justice. Even knowing the basic story, it was still full of surprises.

Overall—8.49

I don't doubt that I would have given this book an even higher rating had I sat down and just read it straight through, but the stops and starts and constant interruptions from reading on multiple devices, especially my phone, brought it down a bit. I've only read a couple of books on the Oprah's Book Club list—and she hasn't even read this one!—but I think I might look into it a bit more in the future, because this novel was a complete joy. Keep reading, Genoshans!

Half Empty (David Rakoff)

2011-01-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

Half Empty is the latest collection of essays from award-winning writer and NPR’s This American Life contributor David Rakoff. Through his series of lighthearted, mostly autobiographical essays, Rakoff attempts to peel back the magic curtain of optimism that has run rampant in contemporary culture and demonstrate that it might do us some good to lower our expectations because disappointment is here to stay. All this talk of disappointment, though, all felt -- well, half empty. On the cover, I was warned that no inspirational life lessons would be found in these pages, which is fine because I wasn’t looking for any. I was actually looking forward to a different, more realistic perspective. What I found instead was a set of essays that were at times incoherent and grossly verbose, and common sense observations passed off as great truths.

Synopsis

The first essay sets the stage for the supposedly overarching theme of the collection. Rakoff tells about interviewing Julie Norem, the author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking, an assignment for a web publication that he never ends up writing. He explains her theory that we don’t need to be happy all the time, that negative emotions, such as fear and anxiety, can also be productive in our lives. The essay is peppered with accounts of people whose cultural behavior exemplifies this theory, or contradicts it. This journalistic evidence gives the essay some more heft, akin to the way Malcolm Gladwell lays out his books’ social themes with factual arguments. However, I’m already not a fan of his lots-of-hyphenated-and/or-flowery-adjectives style, and I’m constantly having to reread sentences. Nor do I care for Rakoff’s overwhelming self-importance that often feels more like boasting or a cry for pity than the intended touch of humor. I commend him for putting so many of his personal experiences out there like that, but I'm not amused. Whether he’s talking about the movie role hehad but didn’t keep , his underwhelming reaction to the Broadway hit Rent, a tour of the ill-conceived Dream Home in Disneyworld’s Tomorrowland, the burden yet responsibility of being the keeper of others’ secrets, or his experience being re-diagnosed with cancer, there are some interesting moments and ideas but as a whole the collection is ultimately dissatisfying. Maybe that’s what Rakoff was going for all along, making a statement that we shouldn’t expect much of anything in life, not even his book, because disappointment is all around us and we should just get used to it? Unfortunately, I don’t think he was.

Rating

Half Empty

by David Rakoff

Story: 3.3 - Okay, so it’s a collection of essays and they don’t necessarily need to be that closely related. But from the start, we’re led to believe that they will be by this notion of negativity as a positive force, yet that is not apparent enough in most of the essays. I lost count of how many times during the course of reading this book I stopped and thought, “Wait, what does any of this have to do with anything?” I kept waiting for it to all come together and make sense in the end in some masterful way, only to be left hanging with some generic conclusion that felt contrived. Some of the essays did have compelling premises though, particularly “Dark Meat,” about the tortured Jewish love affair with pork and “A Capacity for Wonder,” about three trips to culturally iconic places that are disappointing or underwhelming. Through it all, the journalistic touches were one of Half Empty's strengths, albeit downplayed, offering refreshing moments of objective substance.

Style: 2.5 - You know that friend that everyone has that always has some story to tell, but midway through they start talking about something else vaguely related and go on and on about it, and this goes on until they remember the thing they had started talking about in the first place or they just stop? Give that friend an incredible vocabulary and a wide cultural knowledge so they can use a lot of big words and make a lot of obscure references, and you’ve got David Rakoff in Half Empty. If there’s such a thing as a connoisseur of the runoff sentence, Rakoff is the king and his crown is made of parentheses. I enjoy a good set of parentheses here and there, used sparingly and purposefully. But here they’re more often disrupting. In the first essay alone parentheses are used so liberally that there’s a pair on nearly every page, and Rakoff often uses them as an excuse to digress or interject an irrelevant, page-long anecdote.

General: 2.0 - I really disliked this book. If I hadn’t forced myself to finish it for the sake of this review, I would have stopped reading it midway through the second essay. That’s a shame, because the later essays were the more interesting ones, but still in need of tighter editing. I also had a hard time being able to relate to many of the essays, but I could have dealt with that if I hadn’t had to stop to roll my eyes so much or reread every other sentence.

Overall: 2.6

MY FAVORITE BAND DOES NOT EXIST

2011-01-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

When I first read the description for Robert T. Jeschonek's print novel My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, I was fairly certain that the author wrote the book specifically to get a good review from me and me alone. The story deals with rock bands, metafiction, and the internet, and as anyone who has ever met me can attest, these are three things about which I am quite passionate. But as it turns out, Jeschonek (can I just call you "Rob?" Is that cool?) has actually written a fairly accessible urban fantasy novel for young adults — one that just-so-happens to feature some wacky high concepts that help it along the way.

Synposis(es?)

My Favorite Band Does Not Exist actually consists of several different stories that are ultimately the same. We're first introduced to teenage boy named Idea Deity, who has created a fictional band on the internet called Youforia. This includes tour dates, band member bios, song lyrics, etc. — to the point that the "band" starts developing a rabid cult following, thanks to all the hype and mystery that surrounds them. In addition to this wildly clever Internet start-up, Idea also suffers from a chronic illness known as Deity Syndrome, a psychological condition that has him convinced that he is actually a character in a novel, and that he's going to die in Chapter 64. Along the way, Idea meets a girl with a face tattooed on the back of her head who helps him on his journey.

Meanwhile, Reacher Mirage is the lead singer and genius behind a band called...Youforia. Reacher is mildly obsessive-compulsive, and chronically unsure of himself, so much so that he will not allow the band to release music, or play any concerts, until he himself is "certain" they are ready. Needless to say, he is none too pleased to find out that there is an "official" Youforia website that includes actual song lyrics and biographical information about the members of the band. Reacher — with the help of his girlfriend, who also a tattoo of a face on the back of her head — is determined to find the creator of his band's website.

Reacher and Idea have other things in common besides female accompaniment with tattoos of faces on the backs of their heads. They have both been reading a fantasy novel called Fireskull's Revenant — and since our dual protagonists are reading the book, that means we get to read the book as well. While the inclusion of chapters from Fireskull's Revenant — presented like old, worn pages of an actual different book, complete with a different font and byline — was interesting, it often felt intrusive, as it continued to pull me away from the stories of Reacher and Idea. (or so I thought...[!]) In the end, once I fully understood its role in the story, I was pleased with it; it served its purpose well, even if the leap from rock-and-roll/internet/metafiction to Lord of the Rings-esque battle scenes was jarring.

Admittedly, some readers may have difficulty getting into the weird world of the book. Others might find themselves feeling apprehensive towards characters with names "Idea Deity," or his parents, "Vengeful Deity" and "Loving Deity." This naming convention actually helps to establishes the mood of the story — there's depth, yes, but at the same time, it maintains a tongue-and-cheek quality. Jeschonek is clearly channeling Thomas Pynchon with the naming of his characters, and as a Pynchon fan, I appreciate this.

This tongue-in-cheek quality should add to the appeal of readers who might find metafictional conceits and story-within-a-story fiction to be somewhat daunting. While it gives you as a reader a great deal to think about, it's not necessarily challenging. Jeschonek approaches these high concepts in a simple, comprehensible manner (a skill that one assumes he developed writing licensed novels for Star Trek and Doctor Who) I think this makes the book especially valuable for its target young adult audience, as it could serve as a gateway for readers into Vonnegut, Pynchon, Dick, Ballard, etc. In fact, one of my only complaints about the book is that Jeschonek occasionally allows himself to get too didactic, pointing out things to the reader that should be fairly obvious, especially when characters notice the parallels between their stories. It's a prime example of "Show, Don't Tell," but it might be useful for some readers who are not as accustomed to this kind of storytelling.

Rating

Story/ies — 6.4

While I did enjoy the overall story immensely, as well as the strange tales of Reacher and Idea, I didn't expect the LOTR magical medieval fantasy sequences to take up quite as much of the book as they did. Although it is billed as "Young Adult Urban Fantasy," the plot synopsis on the jacket led me to assume that the metafiction/reality-bending aspects were what made it "fantasy" (in the same way that Kurt Vonnegut is "science fiction"), rather than, ya know, guys with flaming skulls and leathery wings battling amorphous knights.

Style - 8.5

Robert T. Jeschonek is clearly a writer with a lot of big ideas and talent, and the way that this novel is told is especially commendable. It shifts across multiple narratives, and ultimately weaves them all together in a wild and original amalgamation. Even though the fantasy chapters of Fireskull's Revenant weren't my favorite, I truly enjoyed the way that the "novel" was presented within the greater context of the actual novel, and was impressed by the way it tied Reacher's and Idea's stories together.

General - 7

Overall, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist is a wacky and enjoyable trip (if not a little esoteric), full of intriguing, imaginative concepts that keep a reader hooked. I read the first hundred pages in a few short sittings, but as the ominous Chapter 64 approached, I couldn't stop reading, and ended up blowing through the 2/3 of the book in one night while I waited for my apple-mango-black-bean chili to cook down (it was delicious). While some of the fantasy/genre tropes of the story seemed out-of-place against the rock-and-roll/internet/metafictional world established at the beginning, I can't fault Jeschonek for his ambition in bringing it all together.

Overall - 7.3

My Favorite Band Does Not Exist is available in hardcover on July 11, 2011.

Sunset Park (Paul Auster)

2011-01-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Synopsis

I had high hopes going into Paul Auster's Sunset Park because as a friend put it, "Everyone loves Paul Auster." So when I finished reading the novel on the train back from New Year's weekend, I wondered, What is wrong with me?

Miles Heller starts the book off for us, and Auster is strong with descriptions of the abandoned houses still cluttered with abandoned things, shells of lives no longer afforded after the beginning of the 2008 economic collapse. The descriptions of Miles Heller are promising, but fail to reach deeper than the surface of his thoughts.

In 308 pages we are expected to interact with and understand six characters. That number doesn't take into account peripheral characters such as Morris Heller's wife Willa - who is undergoing a breakdown - and Miles Heller's under-aged lover Pilar.

The novel's elements: Economic collapse, adultery, illegal romances, a prodigal son motif, love triangles, glamorized poverty - all clashed for me. They came at me too quickly to absorb, keeping any of them from eliciting any reaction stronger than a grimace before I was shuffled onto the next character and batch of terrible, unfortunate circumstances.

The situations are unique, and there are deeper levels I so desperately wanted to explore - to a point where I questioned my abilities as a reader. Truth is, it's the writer's responsibility to carry the story (or in this case, stories) to the end.

I was told how intelligent, studious, and impressive Pilar, Miles's lover, was; how the way she carried herself and her intellect relieved the other characters’ initial discomfort with a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 28-year-old. I was never given the chance, however, to judge her for myself. She is protected, portrayed only in the thoughts and judgments of characters who, as it turns out, I couldn't get enough of a grasp on to trust either.

Miles's father, Morris Heller's own romantic relationships provide no evidence of consequence, either. He presents himself as a victim: He commits one act of adultery during which he claims to have not been able to experience much pleasure because of his guilt for betraying his wife. He then proceeds to rely on that questionable fact of his crippling guilt as reason to sympathize with him when his wife is cold to him. We are supposed to praise him for dropping everything and returning to Europe when she calls him crying. We are supposed to pity him when Willa cuts his son - her stepson - out of her heart, making him choose between them.

I do not mean to attack these two men because they are men, but rather because they, too, are not fully realized as aren’t their women. I consistently felt I was supposed to sympathize with these people without being given a reason they deserved sympathy other than being told they did.

Two of the women in the book who are given their own sections, Ellen and Alice, are introduced as good friends, yet they tip toe around each other with an awkwardness that doesn't suggest anything deeper than two unfamiliar people. If they had been described as two women so out of touch with themselves that they couldn't be in touch with others, I could have accepted their superficial relationship. Instead, they are heralded as close friends - a relationship, once again, I felt instructed to believe rather than compelled to.

Ellen Brice, one of these women, is described as small and fragile throughout, from various perspectives. She is talented but without spark. Her spark comes later when she runs into the man she had an affair with when she was 22 and he was 17. Their affair ended in a pregnancy she kept secret. After their reunion, she begins wearing makeup and tighter clothing; she feels beautiful for the first time since the abortion. The consequences she felt from that affair are ominous and encompassing until she finds a boyfriend, when they seem to disappear altogether.

My distaste for this novel is not simply because women are underrepresented - that is a world that exists and about which books must be written. In Sunset Park none of the characters were full to me, each of them gipped, as I felt upon finishing.

Rating

Sunset Park

By Paul Auster

Story/ies – 6

The characters’ situations are unique and great fodder for a novel, but each of them falls flat under the weight of the responsibility of character that fails to be met.

Style – 5

There are simply too many things going on for the novel-in-stories structure. Auster’s straight-forward language – while failing the characters and, ultimately, the reader – has moments of beauty and description worth having read.

General – 6

It’s a quick read, partly because of Auster’s style and partly because you’re frantically looking for what it all means, pausing only to flip back to see which quiet, withdrawn female roommate is which. I recommend just going to Sunset Park in Brooklyn and looking at people; you'll probably feel way more connected to the randos on the street than to the smorgasbord of Auster's characters.

Overall – 5.67

Top 10 Books of 2010 and Review Recap!

2011-01-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Daily Genoshan! DG is celebrating its second birthday tomorrow, which means it's time to recap all of the reviews from the previous year, as well as count down the Top 10 Books of 2010! Plus, as an added bonus, I'll put up the ratings for the All-Time Top 10 list!

I must acknowledge here that 2010 was a sad year, though. The goal was to hit 52 full book reviews, a jump of 10 from 2009, but we actually dropped down to 37 (wah wah). Most of that is due to the terribleness of what I'm calling the Black Fall. From September through November, DG was forced to miss 11 of 13 Fridays due to various conflicts. There were some fill-in posts, including a new feature, "Why Buy?," which will hopefully be returning soon, but those three months were hard to bounce back from. Luckily, we now have three new reviewers here at the Daily Genoshan—Thom, Melanie, and Emily—,so those worries are forever behind us! But enough of that technical stuff; let's get to the countdown!

The Daily Genoshan's Top Ten Books of 2010

10. Omega the Unknown by Jonathan Lethem—7.85

9. This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper—7.9

8. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell—8.2

7. Agaat by Marlene von Neikerk—8.29

6. Stories of God by Rainer Maria Rilke—8.39

5. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon—8.67

4. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith—8.88 (Seth's 2nd straight year at the #4 spot on the Top 10 list!)

3. City of Thieves by David Benioff—8.9

2. Android Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters—9.17 (Ben's 2nd straight year on the Top 10 list, jumping up 6 spots from last year!

...and the #1 book of 2010...

1. The Scott Pilgrim series by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.57 (One of the individual Scott Pilgrim books scored a 9.81, the highest rating ever received, but the scores of the 6 books were combined for the purposes of the Top 10, as all collected editions of comic books are.)

***Honorable mentions include Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby (7.7); Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith (7.62); Old Man Logan by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven (7.59); The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket with Brett Helquist (7.58); and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (7.44)***

That leaves us with a very interesting All-Time Top 10 here at the Daily Genoshan!

ALL-TIME TOP 10

1. The Scott Pilgrim series by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.57

2. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer—9.56

3. The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle—9.39

4. The Valley of Fear by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle—9.33

5. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith—9.22

6. Android Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters—9.17

7. Tie: A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle; and Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan—9

9. Tie: 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez; and City of Thieves by David Benioff—8.9

Those are the Top 10 books of the eligible 53 that have been rated. Now how about the worst books of 2010?

The Daily Genoshan's Worst Three Books of 2010

3. Greek Street by Peter Milligan and Davide Gianfelice—7.11

2. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen—6.97

...and the absolute worst book of 2010...

1. Omega the Unknown by Steve Gerber—6.5

That's right, folks, the two versions of Omega the Unknown made the Top AND Bottom lists! Although, to be fair, the field was much closer in 2010 than in 2009. #10 on the Top Ten was .76 points lower this year, and #1 on the Bottom Ten was 2.25 points higher. Hopefully 2011's selections are a little more varied!

Well that's enough for rankings. Let's get on to the review recap! Here is what 2010 in review looked like here at DG!

January

Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby—7.7
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros—7.44
Dearest Creature by Amy Gerstler—Poetry not rated

February

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell—8.2
Stories of God by Rainer Maria Rilke—8.39
Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell; and Dr. McNinja by Christopher Hastings—Ongoing webcomics not rated

March

The Brightest Moon of the Century by Christopher Meeks—7.12
Greek Street by Peter Milligan and Davide Gianfelice—7.11
The Secret History by Jean Pierre Pécau—Not rated because I worked for the publisher at the time

April

Words For Empty and Words For Full by Bob Hicok—Poetry not rated
In Search of Time by Dan Falk—7.15
Chronic by D.A. Powell—Poetry not rated

May

Agaat by Marlene van Neikerk—8.29
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steven Hockensmith—7.62
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith—8.88

June

City of Thieves by David Benioff—8.9
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon—8.67
Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.58
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.36

July

Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.67
Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.36
Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.68
Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour by Bryan Lee O'Malley—9.81 (as well as the Ultimate Scott Pilgrim Rating—9.57)
Devil Inside by Todd Stashwick and Dennis Calero—Ongoing webcomics not rated

August

Each Crumbling House by Melody S. Gee—Poetry not rated
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (film) by Edgar Wright—One hundred million billion trillion
Old Man Drinks by Robert Schnakenberg—Books on how to make cocktails not rated
Android Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters—9.17

September

Disneystrology by Lisa Finander—Astrological coffee table books not rated
Old Man Logan by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven—7.59

October

WHY BUY? Hybrid Bastard! by Tom Pinchuk and Kate Glasheen—WHY BUY? books not rated

November

Black Fall—No posts :(

December

This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper—7.9
Omega the Unknown by Steve Gerber—6.5; by Jonathan Lethem—7.85
Little Bee by Chris Cleave—7.33
The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket with Brett Helquist—7.58
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen—6.97

And that's that! Happy New Year! I hope you're looking forward to 2011 as much as we are here at the Daily Genoshan! Keep reading, Genoshans!

Water for Elephants (Sara Guen)

2010-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

Last review of the year! I read this book ages ago, during what I'm now referring to as the Black Fall (more on that in next weekend's 2010 Review Recap!). I let it fall to the wayside, but certain circumstances made me pick it back up again. Those circumstances are the newly released trailer of the film—in theaters April 22—and the terrible acting therein. I am here to assure you that it is not just the acting you'll need to watch out for.

Synopsis

Water for Elephants, which takes place during the Great Depression, tells the incredible story of one Jacob Jankowski, a young veterinary student who decides to run away after learning of the untimely deaths of both of his parents. For reasons that are not entirely clear—or at the VERY least not entirely justified—Jacob runs away during his final exam at Cornell. Just stands up and walks right out, a good ten minutes before he would finish his four-year degree and earn his diploma. Okay...

Jacob, not having anywhere or anyone to run to, begins to follow the railroad tracks on the outskirts of town, and eventually finds himself face to face with a real life, honest to goodness, GEN-U-WINE circus! And what luck! Even though the circus is on the brink of financial destitution, hasn't paid its workers in weeks, and has resorted to throwing some unfortunate bastards off the train in the middle of the night, they just happen to need a veterinarian! Isn't that just incredible, folks? The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. It's a mystery how this book ever got published.

Jacob ends up falling in love with Marlena, the circus' star performer and young wife of the mentally unstable head animal trainer, August. From what I can tell of the film via the trailer, whoever cast this movie got it just right: the useless and generically handsome young buck (Rob Pattinson) tries to steal the unnecessarily headstrong but ultimately personality-less trophy heroine (Reese Witherspoon) from the only character in the story with any real depth to him (Christoph Waltz).Oh, and there's an angry midget, and an elephant who won't listen to anyone.

Through a series of mostly predictable events, Jacob attempts to win over Marlena, while also attempting to teach tricks to Rosie, the elephant, so that they can all save the show together. Aww. August, who is completely demented and possibly bipolar, claims that he is Jacob's best friend, but also tries to kill the kid a couple times. Top it all off with a ruthless, money-hungry circus owner and you've got yourself a recipe for a #1 New York Times Bestseller!

Oh, and I forgot to mention: the entire thing is framed within the memories/dreams/possibly psychotic delusions of an old man in a nursing home who misses his wife and wants more than anything to be back with the circus again.

The one thing that got me through the abysmal plot was the painstaking detail that Sara Gruen goes into to make this world come alive. You can absolutely, 100% tell that she did her research, and did it well. I'm no expert on early 20th-century traveling circuses myself, but it seemed like Gruen got all of her facts straight. She should be proud of that particular accomplishment, and I'm sure she is, because in the book she often goes out of her way to explain some completely erroneous detail of circus life just to prove that she knows what she's talking about.

The writing itself is not terrible—Gruen is a competent individual who can string together interesting sentences—and the book is not without its compelling moments, but the predictability of the plot and the flatness of the two main characters seriously dampens any true enthusiasm that could be raised by the read. It's entertaining, it's readable, and there are a few times when it's even enjoyable, but on the whole this is a completely generic title.

Rating

Water for Elephants
by Sara Gruen

Story—7
There is nothing unique about this story. It's Big Fish meets The Notebook meets Every Novel You've Ever Read Where There Is A Young Man Who Feels Out Of Place In A New Situation But Somehow Finds The Most Perfect Girl On The Planet And They Fall In Love But She's Taken Oh No What Are They Gonna Do?

Style—6.5
Nicholas Sparks' best book yet!

General—7.4
You will breeze through this book. Some of you might even enjoy it. I hope to God that none of you love it.

Overall—6.97

See you next year, Genoshans!

The Lump of Coal (Lemony Snicket)

2010-12-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

This is a story about a lump of coal who can think, talk, and move itself around. Is there a more charming holiday tale to behold? Probably, but Lemony Snicket has not written one.

Merry Christmas Eve! Today I've got the perfect holiday stocking stuffer review, Lemony Snicket's The Lump of Coal! You may know Snicket, the pen name of author Daniel Handler, from his wonderfully morose set of children's books, A Series of Unfortunate Events. He has since written several other equally quirky children's books, but The Lump of Coal is so far my favorite.

Synopsis

"The story begins with a lump of coal, who for the sake of argument could think, talk, and move itself around." This lump of coal, saddened by the fact that he was unceremoniously dumped in a backyard by accident in the dead of winter, sets out to make a name for himself. His two great aspirations in life are to make charcoal art, or help to roast delicious meats as part of a bbq. After some minor setbacks, the lump of coal is placed in the stocking of a boy who has those same two desires, and they all live happily ever after. Sorry to spoil it for you.

The book is extremely short—only about 30 pages—but is delightfully charming. Also, even though Lemony Snicket has a habit of playing with the morose and strangely mundane, overall the book has a positive tone, going so far as to end with this bit of wisdom:

All these things are miracles. It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season—like all the other seasons—is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.

The book may seem at first to be depressing and offbeat, but in fact it isn't much more so than any other fable or morality tale. It teaches children to live their dreams and settle for nothing less; if an ugly black rock can do what he loves, why can't everyone? The Lump of Coal also includes beautiful color illustrations from Brett Helquist, the same artist who drew the interiors for each of the A Series of Unfortunate Events books. This is a great little gift for the holidays.

Rating

The Lump of Coal
by Lemony Snicket (with illustrations by Brett Helquist)

Story—7.25
Not a whole lot going on in this book, but what's there is quality.

Style—7.5
If you like Lemony Snicket's Baudelairean style from A Series of Unfortunate Events, you'll love this one, too.

General—8
Great little Christmas story! You should read it to your kids every year!

Overall—7.58

Little Bee (Chris Cleave)

2010-12-17T10:54:00.000-08:00

To be completely honest, I chose to read this book because of its cover. Seriously, the art is great and it’s got a nice glossy, textured finish. Also, the only insight you get from the back is that it’s a story about two women, and they don’t want to tell you what happens because the way it unfolds is apparently that good. They don’t want you to tell your friends what happens either, so they can find out for themselves. As this is my first review for the Genoshan, I’m not so sure we’re friends just yet. Are we? Well maybe we could be someday, and I think those back cover people have a point. Even though this wasn’t my favorite book, I still really enjoyed it so I’ll tell you enough to know that I did actually read it.

Synopsis

This book tells the story of Little Bee, a Nigerian refugee trying to gain asylum in England, and Sarah, an English woman who once visited Nigeria, and the twisted way that their lives touched once, and then once again, and were never the same. Cleave alternates the perspective each chapter, unfolding the story once from one woman’s side and next from the other’s, creating gaps and then filling them in along the way. This lets the story unfold in a unique way, building an experience for the reader full of suspense and rich with insight into two very different characters’ lives.

Within the first two chapters, I was intrigued by the characters, moved by Cleave’s prose, and eager to find out more about how any facet of these two women’s lives could possibly be related. Little Bee starts out stuck in an detention center for immigrants, Sarah lives in the suburbs with her four-year-old son who is Batman and you better not say otherwise. Little Bee is released from the detention center and goes to find Sarah and her husband, Andrew. That’s when they’re all forced to confront a mysterious shared moment in their pasts, and things get - well, different. From the start, you can’t help but feel like you’re promised a big pay off. Both main characters constantly allude to this painful past event that will explain how everything is connected, but for most of the first half of the book, this lack of information makes the story seem like it’s just dragging on. At times it seemed as though there would never be a big reveal, or that the secret would not be nearly as shocking, scandalous, or intense as the hype. And in some ways it’s not, but there’s more. Yet just when I started to believe that this really was the worst book with the best beginning I’d ever read, it all got kicked up about eighteen notches and the second half of the book indeed delivered the payoff I had been expecting all along.

Rating

Story: 8 - A really unique story that manages to keep surprising you after you think that all of the surprising is done. It’s a well-done story of struggle told from two completely different angles, and Cleave manages to make sure that it never gets disjointed and everything has a purpose.

Style: 6.5 - I had a love/hate relationship with Cleave’s style in this book. Alternating the perspective each chapter did drive a sense of suspense throughout the story and I loved the extra dimension it brought to each character. At the same time, though, it contributed to about 100 pages of lagging plot. I also had some trouble getting the Nigerian speaking British English dialect, but I don’t necessarily fault the author for that since I’ve just never heard anyone speak like that before. At its best, though, the prose was incredibly cinematic. I felt like I could see Cleave’s descriptions as scenes in a movie, only to find after finishing the book that Little Bee is already in development as a feature film. I’d watch that.

General: 7.5 - Despite its shortcomings, I definitely loved Little Bee more than I hated it. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I finished reading it, and highly suspect that there are nuances in that first half that I missed because I was so skeptical that the ending would actually deliver. It took me about a week to get through the first half, but the second half I read in less than 24 hours. I’m not rushing to re-read it any time soon, but I do plan on it.

Overall: 7.33

DOUBLE REVIEW - Omega the Unknown

2010-12-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

Steve Gerber is best known for creating Howard the Duck, America's favorite cigar-smoking anthropomorphic mallard (which would later be turned into an atrocious film produced by one George Lucas). But in 1976, he also created a lesser-known but critically acclaimed comic book character called Omega the Unknown, whose eponymous series was cancelled after only 10 issues. Then, in 2007, Brooklyn-based novelist Jonathan Lethem, author of Fortress of Solitude, and a longtime fan of the original Omega series, re-visited the concept, with the help of artist Farel Dalrymple.

Lethem ran with the original high concept of the series, but quickly took the story in his own direction. Gerber was initially angered by Lethem's re-imagining of his creation (at that point, still licensed to Marvel Comics), even going as far as to publicly denounce the series on his blog. The two writers eventually came to an understanding — Lethem persued the series out of an unabashed love for the source material, rather than an attempt by the publisher to retain the original copyright, as Gerber had originally expected. While the story of Omega the Unknown begins similarly under both writers, these are ultimately two very different tales that only share the same initial pitch.

Synopsis

Omega the Unknown follows the story of a young boy — "James-Michael Starling" in the Gerber story, "Titus Alexander Island" in the Lethem version — whose parents are tragically killed in an unfortunate car accident. Also? THEY'RE ROBOTS, as our teen protagonist quickly discovers. Meanwhile, there is a super hero — whom we assume is the titular "Omega," based on his costuming — who battles evil robots somewhere on a distant planet. In both versions of the story, Omega's battle with the robots ends up on Earth, right around the time that our protagonist wakes up from a coma. James Michael/Titus Alexander is remarkably verbose upon regaining consciousness; his syntax and diction are both incredibly formal, and notably evolved well beyond his age. James Michael/Titus Alexander is then attacked by the same evil robots (yes, I know) during his stay at the hospital, whom he destroys with energy blasts that burn the Greek letter Omega into his hands. Meanwhile, his dreams are consumed by the battle between Omega and his evil robot enemies.

James Michael/Titus Alexander is eventually released into the custody of an affectionate hospital employee, and attempts to live a normal life in Manhattan. He attends a public school Uptown, and deals with bullies and other typical high school problems, all of which are exacerbated by what seems to be a high-functioning form of autism. Meanwhile, Omega also attempts to live a normal life in Manhattan, seemingly guarding James Michael/Titus Alexander, despite the impending presence of GERA (Generic Evil Alien Robot Antagonists).

Review

Okay, so Omega the Unknown is a weird story in both forms. There's no denying that. Steve Gerber's version attempts to position itself within the greater Marvel Universe, with Omega battling established Marvel characters such as the Hulk, Nitro, Blockbuster, and Ruby Thursday. Jonathan Lethem, on the other hand, creates a shallow, arrogant, self-important stand-in super hero called The Mink to function as the tertiary antagonist (after the Evil Alien Robots, who are OBVIOUSLY the primary antagonists) (YES, I know).

The initial premise of both stories is undeniably enticing — what is the connection between our protagonist and the mysterious Omega? Throughout the course of both series, the relationship between the characters remains unclear. Steve Gerber realistically portrays James Michael's struggle as an intelligent and gifted (albeit strange and possibly alien) student in the New York Public School System, in a way that no other writer at the time would have dared. Jonathan Lethem honors this tradition in his re-imagining, himself a product of the New York Public School System. The way that James Michael/Titus Alexander deals with bullies and friends in high school is painfully realistic in both versions of the story, and his difficulty understanding human interaction is always endearing — you can't help but root for the poor kid. Meanwhile, Omega's struggle with blending in and functioning in a normal society while simultaneously observing and protecting the protagonist is equally fascinating — in Jonathan Lethem's version, for example, Omega takes a job working in a hot dog truck that parks outside of Titus Alexander's school, and his attempt to operate as a pedestrian while keeping a lookout for Evil Alien Robots is incessantly charming.

OMG ROBOTS!

Unfortunately, neither version of Omega the Unknown delivers a satisfactory conclusion to its undeniably intriguing premise. Steve Gerber's title was cancelled before he was able to answer all of its looming questions — in his final issue, Omega is killed, while James Michael visits his childhood home and discovers additional robot copies of his robot parents. Comic book writer Steven Grant revisited the story in The Defenders in 1979 and attempted to resolve the relationship between James Michael and Omega the Unknown, but this ending was neither adequate nor in line with Steven Garber's original intentions.

On the other hand, Jonathan Lethem's modern re-imagining of the story did come to a finite and intended conclusion; however, without an understanding of Gerber's initial design, it still falls flat. After building to an epic and explosive climax, Lethem's interpretation of Omega the Unknown crumbles in the final chapter, which is rendered without any dialogue at all. While this may seem like an interesting artistic decision, it fails to provide the reader with an adequate understanding of the story in which s/he has invested; the plot is complete, but the story is not, and the resolution is ultimately disappointing. The reviewer read both stories on Marvel's Digital Comic database, and upon reading the final chapter of Lethem's Omega the Unknown, initially thought that there was an error in the web presentation of the story. The broad thematic strokes are understood, but the prevailing mysteries regarding Omega the Unknown and his relationship to Titus Alexander Island remain unanswered.

Rating

Story: 6.5

The story of Omega the Unknown as it is presented in both versions is undeniably fascinating. The struggle of the autistic orphan savant James-Michael/Titus Alexander as he attempts to blend in to his Upper West Side High School after discovering that his "birth" parents are robots is absolutely captivating. Those who would seek out such a graphic novel can easily relate to James Michael's/Titus Alexander's struggle (robots and all! Well, maybe not robots), and will readily empathize with his attempts to fit in. Unfortunately, both Steve Gerber and Jonathan Lethem are capable enough writers to draw a reader in — and then leave him or her hanging without any form of adequate resolution. It's nearly impossible to keep yourself from investing in this tale — but unfortunately, such an expenditure never really pays off.

Style: 7 (Steve Gerber) 9 (Jonathan Lethem)

As with most late 70s/early 80s comic book writers, Steve Gerber teases his story with brilliance and poignance, but the prose suffers from being unnecessarily verbose. At the time, the parallel method of storytelling was revolutionary — the stories of both Omega and James Michael are equally intriguing, and the relevance of their connection is the investment that keeps you reading. Still, Gerber's writing style is fairly standard for the time.

The re-imagining of Omega the Unknown was Jonathan Lethem's first attempt at graphic fiction. Even when his efforts fall flat, however, his ambitions remain admirable. For example, Lethem narrates a good portion of the story from the point of view of a statue in the public park across the street from the apartment in which Titus Alexander takes up residence; even when this narrative device fumbles (in one chapter, the talking fountain head attempts to form a punk rock band, a subplot which, while entertaining, greatly detracts from the main story), Lethem's ardor and creativity still carry the story (until the very end). Furthermore, the use of The Mink as a stand-in for all Marvel Comics superheroes takes the story well beyond standard work-for-hire superhero pulp and positions in its own fantastical and infinitely more fascinating world.

General: 6.5 (Gerber) 8 (Lethem)

While I don't regret having read the original version of Omega the Unknown — as I said, the way in which the story realistically handles teenage life in Upper Manhattan was quite impressive for the times — I couldn't help but feel ultimately unsatisfied with what began as a ravishing narrative concept. While I understand that this was not necessarily Steve Gerber's fault, as the series was forced into cancellation before he had a chance to resolve many of his looming plot points, it still left me with a negative feeling, despite the positivity I felt while actually reading the story. Jonathan Lethem's take proved much more satisfying and entertaining — even though the final chapter was disappointing, Lethem more efficiently illustrated his ability to explore and present the ideas behind the Omega the Unknown concept. Even if the ultimate product leaves the reader desiring more, Lethem's story is almost fantastic enough to forgive its unsatisfactory conclusion. Almost.

Overall: 6.5 (Gerber) 7.85 (Lethem)

Jonathan Tropper's This Is Where I Leave You: Twisted but Satisfied

2010-12-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

In celebration of Thanksgiving this year, I celebrated by spending two nights straight nose-in to Jonathan Tropper's novel, This Is Where I Leave You.

Synopsis

The premise is simple: Dad dies and his dying wish is that his four kids sit shiva, a Jewish mourning ritual where the deceased's immediate family sits in short-legged chairs while everyone who's ever even heard of the deceased comes by to visit over seven days. It's a fairly reverent and dedicated form of grieving; a way to both remember the loved one who's passed while physically and - theoretically, anyway - emotionally being there for those left behind to grieve. The Foxmans, however, know how to suck the reverent out of everything.

The novel's greatest strength is found among its inhabitants: the relationships amongst siblings, between children and mother, between the Foxmans and their neighbors. Tropper succeeds at creating relationships that ebb and flow, changing not only based on the day or the mood, but also on who else is present in the room with them. You get the full sense of how people change based on who they're interacting with, and though Tropper overuses, for my taste, ellipses, the weaker parts of the book are easily forgotten when he uncovers the meat underneath.

Judd Foxman, having recently experienced the trauma of walking in on his wife having porn-grade sex with his boss, is the perfect narrator for the story. He has neither the patience nor the luxury of sugar coating his own anger and hurt or that of his siblings, and the result is a well-paced novel version of what TV series refer to as a bottle episode. Dad's death aggravates decades' worth of repressed anger amongst siblings and siblings-in-law and Judd, having lost everything including his wife, his job and his home, has no reasons left to play nice. He's vulnerable and finally able to come clean, laying everything bare without apology. Because of this he alternates between being a silent witness to marital tiffs and uncomfortable exchanges in the shiva room to instigating physical confrontations with his wife's new lover and yelling matches with his older brother Paul.

Judd isn't perfect in any other sense than he's a great venue through which to tell the stories of the Foxmans. He is a throbbing, festering wound of hatred and thwarted love and misunderstood intentions. As much as the others, he is beginning to realize the unalterable circumstances he now finds himself in, plagued by both the finality of the changes he's experienced and the replaying of the past moments when he could have avoided the path that catapulted him to his current reality. Tropper's characters don't just tell us how they're feeling, they make us feel it with them, experiencing as much confusion, conflict and resignation as we read, as they do experiencing it. Tropper tells so many stories at once, defying summation and complete resolution without bogging us down with reality; the characters are rich, complicated, and permanently sad, but also funny and so devoted to one another in both extremes of human emotion that we can't help but watch them burrow deeper into their problems, comforted only by the fact that they're doing it together, on really short chairs.

Rating:

This Is Where I Leave You

by Jonathan Tropper

Story - 8.0

Someone once said that happy families are all the same, but unhappy families are unhappy in very unique ways. Tropper creates such a uniquely unhappy family and forces them together to be unhappy in a tiny room, a perfect storm of misunderstandings and pent up emotion. Without the overwrought waxing philosophical so familiar in books containing funerals, Tropper appeals to the self-centeredness in all of us to empathize with the narrator.

Style - 7.0

One of the complaints about Tropper's narrator and voice was that it was self-indulgent, that there were jokes that fell flat or brilliant writing for the sake of sounding brilliant. For once, however, I read this book as a reader rather than a writer and those flaws struck me as justifiable characteristics of the narrator rather than shortcomings of the writer.

General - 8.7

I read this book in two days and no matter how much free time I have on my hands, I will not spend valuable chunks of two vacation days reading a book I don't thoroughly enjoy. Tropper's characters are rich and compelling, and his conflicts are satisfying and nuanced as well as big enough to shake these people's entire universe.

Overall - 7.9

Television Two-For-One!

2010-10-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

I'm doing something a bit different today. I'm reviewing a television show, Sherlock on PBS, and previewing another, The Walking Dead on AMC. This should come as no surprise to those of you who read the Daily Genoshan regularly, as I have made my fondness for both Sherlock Holmes and zombies quite well known. Let's start with the review, shall we?

Sherlock (BBC/PBS)

Wow. I'm pretty sure my brain has melted out of my skull into a pool of awesome at my feet. The new Sherlock Holmes show—cleverly titled Sherlock—originated on the BBC, as all good television tends to do, but has been brought to PBS as part of the Masterpiece Mystery! series. Benedict Cumberbatch (random BBC stuff) stars as Sherlock Holmes, with the ridiculously amazing Martin Freeman (Love Actually, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, BBC's version of The Office, Bilbo Baggins in Peter Jackson's upcoming version of The Hobbit(!!!!!!)) playing Dr. John Watson. The series places Holmes and Watson in modern-day London, and upgrades the tools that the famous detective has at his disposal. Holmes now utilizes texting, GPS, and internet research to aid him in solving mysteries.

Strangely enough, though, the series is about as close to the original works as you could get. The characterization is impeccable, and the attention to detail is otherworldly. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle originally had Watson returning to London after being injured in Afghanistan, so they didn't have to change much there (wah wah). But the best thing about the new series is that it's actually pretty hilarious. Instead of being a brave but witless dolt, as he is sometimes portrayed, Watson is a highly intelligent man and compliments Holmes in a very natural way. I could watch Cumberbatch and Freeman go back and forth all day. There are only three episodes right now, but the BBC plans on making more, so that's something to look forward to going into the series. The other thing that's great about Sherlock is that you can actually watch the episodes online for free! The day after each episode airs, PBS streams the episode online! Go ahead, see for yourself! I would not blame you if you just ditched the rest of this review to go watch the first episode. Actually, why don't you go watch it and then come back. Go ahead, go watch it.

Did you watch it? Wasn't it spectacular? It was, wasn't it? It was.

So yeah, Sherlock, Sundays at 9pm ET on PBS (check local listings), and available online the following day. Also, in a mostly unrelated note, I would like to point out that, on the PBS website, the main page for the series is found by clicking a link called "Sherlock Home." I found that amusing.

Moving on.

The Walking Dead (AMC)

While I can't speak for Rubicon because I haven't seen it, all of the other shows that AMC has produced have been complete gold. Mad Men has won the Best Drama Emmy three years in a row; Brian Cranston of Breaking Bad has won the Outstanding Actor in a Drama Emmy three years in a row; Aaron Paul of Breaking Bad just won the Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Emmy this year!

And I actually thought The Prisoner was pretty good... sorry.

Anyway, premiering THIS SUNDAY NIGHT(!), HALLOWEEN(!), is the first episode of the television adaptation of Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead. Normally, I would wonder how a television show about zombies could possibly sustain itself. Usually zombie flicks are all "survive or die." People either figure out how to save themselves, or they don't. How could you possibly keep something like running away from the undead over and over and over again fresh and exciting and interesting over the course of an entire series? Well, if you're basing the entire thing off of a comic book series that's already well into its 13th volume, then I'd say you've got some room to work.

I'm extremely excited for the premiere of The Walking Dead this Sunday night. It means that A) mainstream media is continuing to take comic books seriously, B) mainstream media is starting to take zombies seriously, and C) I will have something to do on Sunday nights now that Mad Men is over for a while. Seriously, folks, you might want to get on this.

Oh! And it stars ANOTHER guy from Love Actually! Love that movie.

I highly suggest catching both of these fantastic shows. Until next week, keep reading, Genoshans!

WHY BUY? Hybrid Bastards! (Tom Pinchuk & Kate Glasheen)

2010-10-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Why Buy Hybrid Bastards!?
by author Tom Pinchuk

Because it’s the weirdest comic in the whole wide world!

That may sound like a bold claim, but I’ve made it to countless readers over the years that I’ve promoted the book, and not one has called me out on it yet. Not a single one. Brian asked me to kick off the “Why Buy?” feature on Daily Genoshan, and I’ve found that that’s the best answer - - that’s the most succinct way to describe my comic.

After you read this official synopsis, I think you’ll be inclined to agree…

Hybrid Bastards! is about creatures born in a practical joke of mythic proportions. One night, the Greek god Zeus gets duped into being ferociously attracted to inanimate objects. For one mindless night, he sows his seed into cars, walls, laundry, and basically everything else you can think of. Because he's a god, these things get pregnant and they give birth. When the unholy offspring come of age, they want what all children want - - their Daddy's love. But he's disgusted by them, he wants 'em swept under the rug like so much dust, and there lies the battle of wills, the fractured family drama.

And as crazy as that sounds, that's only the beginning. The madness escalates from page to page, from panel to panel. Reading this comic is going to blow your mind so bad, your brains will be all over the ceiling. It’ll give you a charge that starts in your tail bone and shoots all the way up your spine until it ignites your hair into a furious blaze. It'll force you to divide your life into two eras: before reading it.... and after.

But you’re not big on hyperbole. You want hard facts.

How about some specs? Archaia, the publisher, has put together another gorgeous hardcover here (as has become their signature) that’ll make you look that much cooler for having one on your coffee table or on your bookshelf. Buy this on Amazon for a discount and you’ll get 77 pages of gloriously painted art, a totally-insane back-up short, criminally-cracked concept designs, and probably the most diverse selection of guest pin-ups ever assembled. And you’re going to get a full story. This isn’t the first of a planned series. We may come back and revisit these characters someday, but we made this with the attitude that there is no tomorrow. We didn’t save anything, we didn’t hold back on anything. We put everything on the table and packed everything we wanted to do into this comic. And I think anybody irked by leisurely decompression in comics will appreciate that.

But you want the really serious answer.

The serious answer is that comics can be too serious for their own good a lot of the time. Make no mistake - - I love Max, I love Vertigo, I love intense comics that you don’t want your Mom to see, I love comics that make incisive points about reality, politics, and philosophy. But I also love comics that flippantly throw the rules out the window because what they want do is simply more fun, and I sadly don’t see enough of those comics. I’m talking about Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol run, Scud the Disposable Assassin, and Little Nemo in Slumberland. I’m talking about Silly Symphonies and Merry Melodies from the golden age of cartoons; back before Bugs, Mickey, Felix the Cat, Betty Boop and their pals had to start acting respectably. I’m talking about comics and toons that invited you into a living, breathing world of phantasmagoria where dream logic is king.

That’s my intention with Hybrid Bastards!, and that’s what that talented lunatic, Kate Glasheen, has helped me create. This book isn’t all snarky one-liners about Greek mythology and involved jokes about laundry creatures keying cars… even though it has plenty of that. Hybrid Bastards! is about giving you a comic that's genuinely unpredictable, that's so unique it defies categorization, that doesn't fit into any box, that gloriously smashes the high-brow and the low-brow together, that escalates in insanity all the way from panel one to the titanic twisted final splash page.

And that, sirs and madams, is why you should buy Hybrid Bastards!

New Feature!

2010-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

I am extremely excited to announce a new feature that will appear on the Daily Genoshan occasionally starting next week! It's called "Why Buy?" and will be somewhat different than regular reviews. Instead of reviewing a book myself, or even interviewing an author to see what he or she thinks, "Why Buy?" will be written by the authors themselves! It will give creators a chance to really let the world know what they think is special about their work in particular. Why do they love their book? Why do they think you'll love it? WHY should you BUY it?

As I said, this new feature will premiere NEXT FRIDAY! So make sure you tune in, folks!

New York Comic Con

2010-10-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, but no review this week, as I'll be at New York Comic Con!

In the meantime, enjoy a webcomic!

Questionable Content

Old Man Logan (Mark Millar/Steve McNiven)

2010-09-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

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Synopsis

The title, Old Man Logan, is pretty self-explanatory if you're a Marvel Comics fan. It's about Logan when he gets old. That should be pretty self-explanatory for everyone, actually. Mark Millar decided to write a Wolverine story set fifty years after all the supervillains teamed up and basically took over the world. 99% of all the superheroes are dead. Logan (Wolverine) is still around, but he lives on a farm in California, working hard to make rent payments to his landlord the Hulk, whose family of green rednecks (brownnecks?) has been threatening to eat Logan's wife and two kids. He hasn't popped his claws once since the day the heroes died, so when an aging Clint Barton (Hawkeye) comes looking to hire him as extra muscle on a cross-country smuggling trip, Logan has some thinking to do. He clearly needs the money, but has no desire to get into any of the mischief he knows the trip will bring his way. His need to support his family ultimately wins out, and the pair head for the East Coast in a rusty Spider-Mobile.

Let me just say that there have obviously been many pseudo-post-apocalyptic Marvel stories throughout the years, but this is far and away one of the best. The general consensus was that it was difficult to follow on an issue-by-issue basis as it was released, but this week Marvel put out the trade paperback, so you can now purchase all nine issues together—plus pinups and such—for the low, low price of $29.99. It is incredibly easy to follow, fun, compelling, action-packed—a little bloody, though, so don't buy it for your 7-year-old—,overall a fantastic read.

Here's a short list of what to expect: Hulk babies; 50-story skeletons; mild superhero cosplay; Ultron as a loving husband and father figure; cannibalistic moloids; Venom T-Rex. In case you missed that last one, allow me to repeat myself: VENOM T-REX. Well played, Millar. Steve McNiven does an excellent job of making a clearly unrealistic world look frighteningly real. Old Man Logan looks, well, old. The rednecks look gross and hillbillyesque, the dinosaurs look very dinosaury. It's a very attractive book, I must say. This isn't my new favorite comic book story, not by a long shot, but it was very enjoyable. I mostly would've liked to see the world a little more. There were maps and references and all kinds of fun little goodies that alluded to the great war against the superheroes, but there wasn't enough actual content to satisfy me. You find out what turned Wolverine into a pacifist, but you don't get to see what the stories of very many other heroes. Millar, McNiven, if you do a sequel, I'd really like to know what happened to Squirrel Girl.

Rating

Old Man Logan
by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven

Story—7.17
The plot is strong, but the characterization is really only there for Wolverine. There's also that huge gap in the backstory that, while it isn't the story Millar was trying to tell, is hard to ignore.

Style—7.6
For there being so many of this dystopian future kind of thing just in Marvel alone (Earth X, Future Imperfect, Days of Future Past), I'm impressed that Millar was able to keep it interesting. I really do hope he writes a sequel someday.

General—8
It's a great story, well-told, with a lot of fun moments. It's not groundbreaking stuff, but you will definitely have a good time with this book. Highly recommended for sheer enjoyment factor.

Overall—7.59

Keep reading, Genoshans!

Disneystrology (Lisa Finander) and Year in Review

2010-09-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

If you're a long-time fan of the site, you might remember last year's Year in Review post. Written shortly after my 24th birthday, it recounted my writing year and laid out some of my goals. I'm pleased to announce that many of these goals have been met, and several others surpassed, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Synopsis

One of the books that I recently picked up from Quirk is a fun little coffee table thing called Disneystrology: What Your Birthday Character Says About You, by Lisa Finander. As yesterday was my 25th birthday, I thought it would be fun to share what the book says about the day, September 2. My Disney character is Hop Low, the smallest mushroom in the Nutcracker Suite's Chinese Dance, from Fantasia. Now, I don't particularly like being called a tiny mushroom, but I do love Fantasia, so I guess it has some credibility. Here's what the book has to say about the little guy:

Hop Low: Your showmanship emerges at a young age. Before your talents are fully developed, your achievements already captivate others. You seek out older and accomplished mentors to help develop your skills. Focused, you work dilligently at becoming proficient in your trade, knowing exactly where you need to improve and what you must master to succeed. Others respect your efforts and surround you with positive reinforcement.
Magical Gifts: Hop Low bestows the gifts of patience, aptitude, and physical agility. With his help, you can reach your goals and take your place at center stage.
Keys to Your Success: Finding your own rhythm.
Hop Low's Story: Fantasia (1940)

So that's not too bad. Even if you don't find your Disney character accurate to your personality, it's still a fun book to check out, just to see what characters you and your friends are alleged to be. Just so you can get a better idea of what to expect in the book, here's a random sample of dates and their associated characters. Completely random. No significance whatsoever...

January 23: Mama Odie, from The Princess and the Frog
May 18: George and Mary Darling, from Peter Pan
May 26: Grand Councilwoman, from Lilo & Stitch
June 11: Mr. Soil, from A Bug's Life
July 18: Dallben, from The Black Cauldron
July 25: Luigi, from Cars
August 30: Eli "Big Daddy" Labouff, from The Princess and the Frog
September 4: Bernard, from The Rescuers

In case you're wondering about some of the big guns in the Disney Universe, Princess Ariel is October 8, Aladdin is August 7, and Mickey and Minnie Mouse are November 18. If you'd like to find out what your Disneystrology character is, write down your birthday in the comments section, or better yet, go out and pick up the book! It's not expensive, and it's a fun book to have around.

***EDIT***I will no longer be taking requests to inform people of what their birthday character is. I apologize, but the number of requests has been staggering, and a) I would love for you all to go out and buy the book, and b) I just don't have the time to get to them all. I will finish up those that I have now, but unfortunately that will be all.***EDIT***

So anyway, birthday characters aside, it has actually been an exceptionally good year. If you recall, my goals from last year, as ever, were the following:

1) Continue to perfect my craft.
2) Develop more disciplined writing habits.
3) Meet more people who were interested/working in the industries I was hoping to break into (comic books and poetry, mostly, but writing is writing).

I am proud to say that I've successfully continued on with all three of those. Achieving #1 comes from writing, reading and learning as much as possible. #2 comes from sitting down and actually producing work, which I'm excited to say has been the case this year. The past three months alone I've written close to 70 new poems, which couldn't have happened if I hadn't just sat down and started writing. #3 isn't always easy to control, but I've been very lucky in that regard the last 12 months.

Last Fall I was going into my final year of USC's Master of Professional Writing program. Through the implementation of summer courses, extra credits for teaching, and other small things here and there, I ended up primarily working on my thesis those last two semesters. While it might have been fun to have more classes with my fellow writers, this meant that I had more time to write, which is always a plus. Also, as Poetry Editor for the Southern California Review, I was still seeing plenty of my fellow students. With the help of my thesis advisor, the extremely talented Amy Gerstler, I wound up finishing my thesis collection of poetry a full semester early. This meant two things: one, I was able to shop out my thesis to publishers during the Spring instead of after graduation, which we'll get back to in a bit; and two, I was free to pick up an internship. I was lucky enough to find my way into an internship with Archaia Comics, a relatively small comic book publisher based right here in Los Angeles. The time I spent there was absolutely invaluable, and I'm much more informed about the workings of that industry now than I could have ever hoped to become on my own. The real news, however, came the morning of May 13, the day before graduation, when Quirk editor Jason Rekulak, well-known as the brains behind Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, gave me a call to say that Quirk would love to publish my thesis! It was the best graduation gift possible. I headed into the summer with an insane amount of work to do to get the manuscript ready, but it was a problem I was glad to have. I can't talk too much about the book yet, but know that I put absolutely everything I have into making it something that I hope everyone will enjoy! It should be coming out next summer, so I'll let you know more closer to the publication date.

I've also been fortunate enough this past year to meet plenty of extremely talented people. Some of these include writers we've published in the Southern California Review, whom I met at a conference in Denver. Others are comic book creators whom I was very excited to meet at conventions in San Francisco and San Diego, via my friends at Archaia. The icing on the cake this past year, though, was the recent inclusion of two of my poems in the Summer 2010 edition of Disquieting Muses Quarterly, a prestigious online poetry review. Having to work constantly at my writing is sometimes exhausting, but the joy of getting an acceptance letter or email more than makes up for the hours of hard work put into each poem.

One of the most exciting things about this past year is that I'm still here writing book reviews. Thank you all so much for sticking around and reading the Daily Genoshan! By this time next year, my book will be published, and I hope to have even more projects in the works and news to discuss, but the DG will always be my first love. In the coming year I'd like to expand and use more guest reviewers, as well as introduce new features to the site, but at its heart it will always be a book review blog.

Thank you for your support, and, as always, keep reading, Genoshans!

Brian McGackin

Android Karenina (Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters)

2010-08-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

So in case you haven't noticed, lately I've had a slight bias towards reviewing books published by Quirk, a small press based in Philadelphia. This is partially due to the fact that I've loved everything I've read from them thus far (Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, Old Man Drinks), and partially because they are actually publishing my book next summer, so they sent me a bunch of free stuff.

That being said, this week's review and next week's review are the last of the current batch of freebies. After that it will be back to the random stuff, though I will obviously try my darndest to get more free books in the future.

Synopsis

Like its predecessors P&P&Z and S&S&SM, Android Karenina takes a classic piece of literature and transforms it into something... else. Ben H. Winters is at the helm again—he did Sea Monsters if you recall—and his task is to turn possibly the greatest novel in history into a robotic social commentary. Hmm. Science fiction and Russian literature are probably my least two favorite genres, so I wasn't sure what to expect here. Sci-fi I can handle sometimes (Dune, Ender's Game, those Martian Tales I reviewed a while back), but i HATE Russian literature. I've never once been able to finish a novel by a Russian author. Crime & Punishment, Doctor Zhivago, even Lolita. Luckily, there is an exception to every rule.

Android Karenina follows the story of Anna, a Russian socialite who falls madly in love with the charming Count Vronsky, a young soldier, much to the chagrin of her husband Alexei, an official in the Higher Branches. So where's the mash-up? Well, in this version of Tolstoy's great epic, each character is accompanied by a "companion," an android servant built especially for their particular needs. The androids, as well as many other technological advances anachronistic to the 19th century setting, are are constructed after discovery of a miracle element called groznium, an incredible power source. Groznium makes possible technology comparable to what we have today. The real heart of the story, however, does not come from the science fiction. Of course there are aliens, cyborgs, and gladiatorial mech battles, but this is truly a novel about society, revolution, and above all else, love.

This is the first time that one of these "Quirk Classics" has made me want to go and read the original novel. Ben H. Winters steps up his game to a remarkable degree. This is a much better book than Sense & Sensibilty & Sea Monsters, which I admit I may have rated a bit too highly looking back. Obviously, Austen's witty banter and quick conversational style is replaced by Tolstoy's microscopic detail and attention to slight mood changes. Those inherent differences are certainly noticed. What really makes Android Karenina stand out, though, is the level of integration of the injected sci-fi elements. The robots do not ever feel tacked on, or part of some gimmick. Unlike in S&S&SM, where the characters are trying to go about their lives despite the presence of sea monsters, the characters in this novel fully depend on their technologies, especially their robotic companions. The "robot question" becomes a pivotal discussion point among the principal characters as the book progresses. As is often the case, the government has a different idea than that of its citizens of what is safe and unsafe regarding technological use. But really, as in the original, this is a love story, one of the greatest ever told. That's what makes this book so exceptional, the fact that, despite all the robots and explosions and revolutionary ideals, it all comes down to whether or not two people are going to end up together. Nicely done.

Rating

Android Karenina
by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters

Story—8.8
Definitely a better story than Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, but that's mostly Tolstoy's doing.

Style—9.2
Definitely better integrated than Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, which is obviously Winters' doing.

General—9.5
These scores may seem inflated, but I genuinely enjoyed every moment that I was reading this book. It even gets a couple extra tenths of a point for being an accessible way to read a monumental classic that few people would ever have the patience to sit down and enjoy. Its 538 pages feel like a novella when compared to the original's 864. It also has one of those fun study guides in the back, like Pride & Prejudice & Zombies had. Love those things.

Overall—9.17

Keep reading, Genoshans!

Old Man Drinks (Robert Schnakenberg)

2010-08-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Are you a man? Not just a male, but a man? A really manly man's MAN? Yeah, me neither. I'm working on it, though. I have a feeling that this book is going to help me out quite a bit.

Synopsis

Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice, and Barstool Wisdom is a very manly book. From front to back, it is filled with nothing but alcoholic beverage recipes that old guys drink, things you've always wanted to try but had no idea what they were or when to order them. Drinks like the Algonquin, the Mint Julep, the Hot Toddy; sure, maybe you've had one once before, but did you even know what you were drinking? Old Man Drinks has the recipes, histories, and perfect occasions for each drink, all in a delightful, pocket-sized hardcover. That's not even the best part, though. The greatest thing about this book is that the author, Robert Schnakenberg, went around to different bars and interviewed actual old guys, and their pictures and comments are strewn throughout the book. Now, these aren't your usual pearls of wisdom dished out Benjamin Franklin-style by some lofty philosopher. These are curmudgeonly drunks with skewed and inappropriate views on life. Take for example Dennis, a 67-year-old musician:

There are times you drink 'til you fall on your face. Then there are times when you drink and someone else falls on your face. Here's hoping I have more of those times.

Or this gem, from 65-year-old Gary, a retired marketing manager:

Scotch goes well with anything, especially marriage.

Or my personal favorite, a lovely little anecdote from Richie, a retired limo driver:

My wife told me I should go out because it was nice out today. I said, "Why? I'm 84 years old. By now I know what a nice day looks like."

Quality.

Rating
Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice, and Barstool Wisdom
by Robert Schnakenberg

I never had a threesome, but it's bound to happen soon.

—Fred, 90, retired janitor

Honestly, there isn't much else to say about the book. If you're into drinking, recipes, or old guys, or know someone who is into drinking, recipes, or old guys, it's pretty much guaranteed to please. It's perfect for the elderly alcoholic looking to expand his palate, or the hipster college kid who wants to be cool by constantly asking bartenders for obscure cocktails, like the Mary Pickford (2 ounces light rum, 2 ounces pineapple juice, 1 teaspoon grenadine, 1 teaspoon Maraschino liquer, lime twist, shake well with ice). I will leave you with this final piece of advice, however, from Peter, a 77-year-old floor manager:

Here's to you and yours, and to mine and ours, and if you and yours ever comes across cross mine and ours, then may you and yours do the...wait, or is it the...ah, to hell with it. I could never remember any of that damn stuff anyway. Best to be original, right?

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (Edgar Wright)

2010-08-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

Wait a minute, didn't I already review this? Nope! This is the film version, which just came out today. It stars Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Jason Schwartzman, as well as many other talented folks. So let's get to it, shall we?

Synopsis

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD!

Rating

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
directed by Edgar Wright

Okay, just kidding. That would've been a terrible review, huh? There isn't going to be any actual rating, you can go to Rotten Tomatoes or something if you want numbers this time. I will, however, break it down into the usual categories and describe the complete awesomeness in greater detail for you.

Story—1,000,000
The movie follows the graphic novel very closely, a recap/review of which you can handily find here. The first half of the film is taken basically frame for frame from the comic, so it holds true to much of the content. Even when Edgar Wright decides to depart from the original narrative, he does so in ways that a) make sense, and b) are cool/funny/intriguing in their own right. It's masterfully done, really. The tension builds at a solid pace, the characters are developed exceptionally well, and the fight scenes are choreographed beautifully. The whole shebang is f*¢∞ing epic.

Style—1,000,000,000
Good God Damn. This is not just a fantastic adaptation, or a fantastic comic book movie. It is an absolutely irresistible, phenomenal film. Wright makes choices that no sane director ever would, and is definitely rewarded for his efforts. It's completely unlike anything that I've ever seen before, but somehow manages to convey the tone of the original work perfectly. Even better, all the quirky little effects and comic bookesque sound bubbles are consistent throughout the film. It never feels gimmicky at all.

General—1,000,000,000,000
I love the books, so I had very, very, very, VERY high expectations for this film, and I can honestly say that it surpassed all of them. Easily. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World beat my expectations to death with a crowbar and made me feel ashamed that I didn't aim higher. I saw it this morning, and I would go again right now. And tomorrow. And probably a couple times on Sunday. And every day for the rest of my life. Let me do a quick inventory of all the films I've ever seen... yup, favorite movie ever. Hands down. Excellently done.

Overall—1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF AT ALL GO SEE THIS MOVIE PLEASE! The acting is so good, especially for such a large cast. And somehow none of the characters seem overlooked. I would go so far as to say the movie does a better job than the first few volumes of the book in fleshing out the characters. And nothing that they left out was so integral as to make the experience less enjoyable. The ONLY thing that I wanted to see that wasn't included was a single line from the first volume, when Kim Pine says, "This guy is toast. Doesn't he know that Scott's the best fighter in the province?" I think I can forgive them, though.

If I ever had my own office with its own waiting room, I would play this movie on repeat for all of eternity, and no one would ever want to come in to see me, because they would be so enthralled by this film in my waiting room, and that would be okay, because I would be in there with them. GO BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!

Each Crumbling House (Melody S. Gee)

2010-08-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

So this is something new. As you might know already, up until my graduation this past May, I was the Poetry Editor for the Southern California Review, USC's graduate literary magazine. One of the poets who I chose to be in the last issue, Melody S. Gee, just sent the review a copy of her first book! Two of the poems we selected for SCR are included in the book, and she even went so far as to thank us in the back. Well, she thanks a lot of people, but this is still a big deal for SCR, DG, and myself personally. This isn't so much a review as a shout out to an emerging poet with an amazing debut collection.

Synopsis

Melody is a first-generation Asian American struggling to find her place in the mix of opposing cultures that is her life. Her first book, Each Crumbling House, is a collection of poems combining all of her feelings towards dealing with what is essentially a life in transition. Many of the poems are written through the lens of Chinese immigrants either heading off to an unknown land or newly arrived in the United States. She depicts beautifully their isolation among those whom they travel or work with. She also writes lovely poems about her own experiences, though. In the poem "In Translation," Gee tackles the issue of not always being able to properly communicate with her own mother. There isn't always a direct connotative match in Chinese for the words she would normally use in English.

I am reading out loud at the table
where she has left ripe
ancestor offerings, reading slowly
so she will hear the texture of desire

that climbs my throat,
which I can only translate as selfish,
to want, or missing. Always
a word away from the word I need.

In "Giving" she addresses her issues with her family's practice of always providing food for their ancestors before a meal, even if it means going hungry. Gee's writing is intensely visual, but also evocative and emotionally clear. It's an excellent first attempt from a writer who I can only imagine will continue to produce beautiful work well into the future.

Rating

Each Crumbling House
by Melody S. Gee

As always, there is no real way to quantify merit in poetry. I will say this, though: I am extremely picky. The "reject" pile always towered over the acceptance pile at our SCR meetings, but Melody managed to get not just one but two poems past me (and almost a third, if I remember correctly). It's not always easy to put into words the reasons why certain poets or poems reach a person. Though it seems like Melody's work is the type that is not meant to be analyzed, anyway, but quietly accepted and understood. She reaches far enough into herself that she is able to find each one of us as well. I've never experienced the horror of having to leave my family to travel thousands of miles across the ocean and start a new life from scratch, but Each Crumbling House proves that it isn't always necessary to experience the same traumas in order to connect with someone on the most basic human levels. Very well done.

Devil Inside (Todd Stashwick/Dennis Calero)

2010-07-30T11:56:00.000-07:00

Yay, Comic-Con! I had such a great time in San Diego last weekend, thanks for asking! It was a highly productive trip, both creatively and professionally. Soooo much fun. And it actually prompted me to try something new with DG this week...

Synopsis

As happens at conventions of this size and nature, I was fortunate enough to meet many extremely talented writers, artists, and other overall creative folks. One of these fine people was artist Dennis Calero, whose work on X-Factor I was already familiar with and enjoyed. Dennis and I talked about a new project that he's been working on, a weekly webcomic called Devil Inside. It follows the story of Jack Springheel, "an arcane drifter with a bounty on his head."

Now, new pages are posted every Wednesday. This past Wednesday, Dennis and his creative partner, writer and actor Todd Stashwick, put up only the second page, so this is really an opportunity to get in on a new webcomic right at its inception. Just from those two pages, though, I can already tell you that the art is going to be stunning. A lot of solid work has gone into this project so far, and I can only imagine that it'll get even better as the story progresses. It's hard to tell exactly what's going on this early, but there is still some evidence that the tone is going to be somewhat lighthearted, but with a definite gritty feel to it. The humor comes mainly from the first page, where Jack is dumped into the desert out of some kind of wormhole and simply mutters, "Women." On page two, Jack murders a man, using supernatural powers, even though the gentleman was kind enough to give Jack a lift. That seems fairly gritty to me. It also tells you that magic is involved, so when you think about it, there's already evidence of fantastic storytelling. You can deduce so much about what's to come just from these two pages. That takes talent.

Synopsis

Devil Inside
by Todd Stashwick and Dennis Calero

I obviously can't give this series a real rating yet, since there have only been two pages. As I mentioned earlier, this review was more to let you guys know about a brand new webcomic that's already showing signs of beautiful art and intelligent storytelling. It's a great chance to get in on the ground floor and not have to cycle through years worth of back issues. Check it out!

Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-07-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

The final volume! It came out today, so of course I had to pick it up and read it for you guys. And then read it again, because it's that good. If you've forgotten what happens in the other volumes, make sure to check out DG's Scott Pilgrim recap. There's no spoilers this time, though, so don't fret. Also, today's post will take the place of a Friday post for this week, since this Friday I'll be at Comic-Con! Hooray beer! I mean, comics!

Synopsis

Poor Scott Pilgrim. Ever since his girlfriend, Ramona Flowers, left him at the end of volume 5, he's been descending steadily into depression. He sleeps all day, plays video games all night, and hardly sees his friends anymore. His old roommate, Wallace Wells, suggests getting out of the house more, maybe meeting new girls, trying out casual sex. This doesn't seem like the Scott Pilgrim we all know and love, however. Besides, everyone else seems to have moved on to bigger and better things, so why shouldn't Scott, right? Why can't he just forget about Ramona? He seems to be forgetting almost everything else these days. Maybe it's because Gideon Graves, Ramona's seventh evil ex-boyfriend, is opening up a new club right in downtown Toronto. Scott knows he'll have to face Gideon eventually. It's unavoidable. But considering his lack of training, lack of willpower, and lack of girlfriend to actually fight over, will Scott be able to survive the confrontation?

Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour is a brilliant conclusion to a brilliant series. Bryan Lee O'Malley does an excellent job keeping the spirit of the series alive while tying together all of the loose ends he'd created in the earlier volumes. All the little things that didn't quite make sense before or seemed unnecessarily quirky are explained or justified here. In fact, O'Malley strips away his own backstory at times. It's revealed that things may not always have been the way that Scott Pilgrim made them out to be. We learn so much more about the characters, and they learn more about themselves. It's incredible how well-defined each individual has become by the last few chapters. Everything that happens is surprising, but it all somehow makes sense. I don't want to spoil the book for anyone—as much as I'm dying to talk about it!—, so I'll cut myself off short. Suffice it to say that Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour is one of the most satisfying conclusions to any series in any genre or medium that I have ever encountered, if not the most satisfying. Everything I wanted was in there, and so, so much more. You'll have a great time with this one.

Rating

Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Story—9.77
I could not have asked for anything more from this book. To me, it sits right up there with The Return of the King, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and issue #60 of Y: The Last Man. I'm just sad that it's all over.

Style—10
Bryan Lee O'Malley has developed such a unique voice. I can't wait to see what he does next.

General—9.67
I hope O'Malley eventually releases Kim Pine vs. The World or Knives Chau's Precious LIttle Life, because I am in love with all of these characters. Their emotional evolutions were all so completely realized. I'm going to miss these guys.

Overall—9.81

But that's not all, folks. Remember, we still have to compile the Ultimate Scott Pilgrim Rating to determine the series' overall position on the Daily Genoshan leaderboards.

Ultimate Scott Pilgrim Rating

Story—9.37
One of the most compelling love stories of all time...

Style—10
...and definitely one of the most interestingly told.

General—9.35
I dare you not to like this book. Go ahead, try.

Overall—9.57

Well, 9.5740740740740740... when you really break down the numbers, but who's counting?* That makes Scott Pilgrim the new reigning champion highest reviewed book here at the Genoshan, beating out Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by a mere one-hundredth of a point!

Also, don't forget to go see the film, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, when it hits theatres August 13th! I've heard nothing but amazing things so far from the lucky few who've gotten in to preview screenings and such. I hope you've enjoyed the Scott Pilgrim recap! As always, if you have any ideas or suggestions for books to be reviewed in the future, or think you've got what it takes to write a DG review yourself, leave a comment! New voices are always welcome. Until next time, keep reading, Genoshans!

*Clearly, I'm counting. For those of you interested in how I came to that number, by the way, I kept track of the original Story, Style, and General Ratings for each individual book. Each Overall Rating is actually the average of 9 different scores, though you only see 3 on the site. There are other ways of averaging the numbers together, some of which would even result in a different rating (9.58), but this is the most precise, and the way I've been doing ratings since the very first review.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-07-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

The penultimate volume!

::SPOILER ALERT::

Synopsis

Happy birthday, Scott Pilgrim! On Scott's 24th birthday, he vows to be the BEST 24-YEAR-OLD EVER! His year gets off to a terrible start, though, when he's ambushed at a party by the twins Ken and Kyle Katayanagi, Ramona's next two evil ex-boyfriends, and their killer robot. Scott easily dispatches the robot, but Ramona doesn't seem impressed. Back home at Ramona's apartment, it becomes more evident that Scott isn't carrying his weight in the relationship. Uh-oh. Meanwhile, Sex Bob-omb takes a break from recording to rehearse for their upcoming gig. Too bad they suck now. Scott, Kim Pine, and Stephen Stills are all nervous and freaking out leading up to show time, but their only option is to play. While waiting for the band to start, Ramona is confronted by Knives in the bathroom. Ramona is snarky; Knives tries to drop kick her. Ramona whoops Knives' ass, but not before Knives unleashes a painful truth on Ramona: Scott and Knives were still together when he met Ramona. They leave the bathroom to find that the Sex Bob-omb gig is already over, as it was really just a set up to get Scott to fight another killer robot.

Armed with the knowledge that Scott is a liar and a cheat, Ramona tells her boyfriend that he should probably stay somewhere else for a few nights. After two consecutive couch surfing evenings—the first with Wallace Wells, Scott's old roommate, the second with Kim Pine—, Scott and Kim plan a way to get Scott and Ramona back together: Kim and Ramona meet for lunch and Scott just happens to show up. It works, but during the ensuing conversation, Ramona's head starts to glow in a way that it hasn't in several volumes. Kim comments on the glow, but Ramona dismisses her completely. What's the deal? Why's your head all glowy, Ramona? With Scott and Ramona back together, the three decide to attend another party, and Scott is forced to face yet another killer robot. Ramona, still angry with Scott, gets the glowy head thingy again, but Kim manages to take a picture this time. After Scott beats the robot, the three get wasted on tequila and things calm down for a few hours.

After the party, though, Kim is abducted by the twins, oh no! Ramona and Scott, who have no idea, head home for some make up sex and drunk sleep. Except Ramona can't sleep. Still too worked up about the fact that Scott cheated on Knives, she confronts him, going so far as to label him a future evil ex-boyfriend. He begs her not to break up with him, but then passes out, completely wastey-face. Scott wakes up in the morning to find Ramona gone, and freaks out for a bit until he realizes she's just in the shower. He then receives a text message from Kim Pine, alerting him to the fact that she's been abducted. He yells through the bathroom door to Ramona that he's going off to save Kim, but Ramona doesn't hear him and has no idea where Scott has gone when she gets out of the shower. This clearly pisses her off. She removes a towel from her head and reveals that she's cut her long hair, which Scott told her he liked, and has gone back to the hairstyle she had when she was with Gideon.

Scott heads to the abandoned building where Kim is being held captive and challenges the twins to a final battle. He quickly starts to lose ground, however, and the twins take this opportunity to reveal a few more terrible things about Ramona. Scott finds out how she cheats on everyone she dates, but is a horrible hypocrite who can't stand being with a guy who has ever cheated on a girl, even if that guy cheated with her. Kim, noticing that Scott is losing morale and about to be defeated, quickly makes up a lie that Ramona just texted her saying that she believes in him, hopes he's safe, and can't wait for him to come home. Invigorated by Ramona's renewed faith in him, Scott defeats the twins, earning $79.95 for Ken, $74.95 for Kyle, and a $2 Twin Bonus when they are reduced to coins. Scott frees Kim and rushes back home to Ramona.

Unfortunately for Scott, Ramona has actually given up on their relationship. When he gets back to their apartment, Scott finds Ramona in their room, packed and ready to leave him. He makes several futile attempts to convince her to stay, but in a sudden burst of glowy-headedness, Ramona disappears, leaving Scott with little other than Gideon the cat, a note she originally wrote for Gideon the ex, and a hole the size of Ontario in his chest. To make matters worse, when Scott leaves the apartment to go look for Ramona, Gideon the cat runs away, and Scott forgets his keys, locking himself out for good. Time passes; Scott searches for both Ramona and the cat, but is unable to find either. He switches off between Stephen Stills' and Kim Pine's apartments for places to sleep until finally his parents get him a place of his own. Eventually, Kim decides that she wants to move back home, and leaves Toronto. More alone than ever before, Scott starts to go slightly insane, imagining that he sees Gideon the ex everywhere. Finally, Scott remembers the letter that Ramona wrote to Gideon that she left at her apartment:

Gideon—

Don't wait up
for me, cause
I'm not coming
back. It's over.

—Ramona

Scott initially takes comfort from the note, until he realizes that it doesn't mean anything since she never sent it to Gideon. He has little time to ponder this, however. As the book approaches its conclusion, Scott receives a mysterious phone call. "This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?"

Rating

Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Story—9.43
The subtle characterization and gradual shifts in conflict are superb. Bryan Lee O'Malley builds tension beautifully, culminating in a wonderful prelude to the final book.

Style—10
So good.

General—9.6
This volume turns a series that's often goofy and absurd into a truly suspenseful ongoing narrative. I absolutely cannot wait to find out what happens to these characters.

Overall—9.68

July 20th! The final volume! Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour! All of your questions will finally be answered! Who is Gideon? Will Scott be able to win Ramona back? Can Sex Bob-omb ever recover from the loss of Kim Pine? Are Stephen Stills and Knives Chau secretly dating? Does Scott have what it takes to live in an apartment by himself? WHY DOES RAMONA'S HEAD KEEP GLOWING?!?! All this and more! Do it! Buy it! Read it! Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour! And don't forget, we'll have the culmination of all the Scott Pilgrim ratings into one final Ultimate Scott Pilgrim Rating! Until then, keep reading, Genoshans!

Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-07-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

::SPOILER ALERT::

Volume 4, wherein more ridiculousness occurs. Also wherein there are a few pages of color in the beginning! Kim Pine's a redhead!

Synopsis

Could it be that things are finally going well for our noble hero? It's summertime, life is good, and Scott Pilgrim couldn't be happier with the way things are going. Well, except for the fact that he's broke and needs to find a job. And that some crazy Chinese guy has been stalking him. Oh, and there's this little thing about Ramona being jealous of an old friend of Scott's from high school that turns up in Toronto. And Stephen Stills has cancelled shows and put band practice on an indefinite hiatus so they can record an album that no one else wants to record. And Young Neil is a jerk. Anything else? No? Oh wait, one more thing: it turns out that Ramona's latest evil ex-boyfriend is not a boy at all... twist!

Things are going great for Scott and Ramona until Lisa Miller shows up. Lisa was Scott's best friend in high school, before he started dating Kim Pine. She's only in town for a few days, but she's determined to find a way back into Scott's life. Ramona, who has been known to cheat on a significant other or twenty in the past, is uneasy about Lisa's sudden appearance. She turns downright suspicious once her ex shows up to challenge Scott. Her ex Roxanne, Ramona's college roommate and partner in the pair's experimental phase. Roxanne isn't the only one trying to make mince meat out of Scott, though. Knives—who made out with Kim Pine when she was drunk omg!—discovers that a photo of Scott she keeps on her wall has been defaced, and then Scott notices an older Chinese gentlemen following him around. Hmm, I wonder who that could be? Tensions mount as Scott and Wallace Wells, Scott's gay roommate, discover that their lease is up and new living arrangements are going to have to be made. Scott can just live with Ramona, right? Too bad the two are in a fight after the Lisa situation comes to a head. To make matters worse, while running from the mysterious Chinese man, Scott inadvertently enters a subspace highway that goes directly through Ramona's head. Unsettlingly, he finds her kneeling at the feet of a mysterious figure. Could this be Gideon, the man she never talks about but is constantly linked to? The man she allegedly dated in New York?? The man she named her cat after???

Scott finally decides that he needs to man up in most areas of his life if he wants to win Ramona back. He gets a job (+500xp!), but loses it, but then gets it back (+1000xp!!); he defeats Roxanne—good thing he got that longsword proficiency in grade five—, discovering in the process that his next opponents are a set of twins, gross; he restores honor to the Chau family, and Knives' dad stops trying to kill him; finally, he admits to Ramona that he is in love with her (+9999xp Level Up!!!)! The book ends on a primarily pleasant note, with Scott moving in to Ramona's apartment, earning the power of love, and gaining a kick ass new sword. All is not as sweet and sugary as it seems, though. Ramona's got a secret, Scott's got to fight twins, and Stephen Stills is hiding something from his bitchy sometimes-girlfriend Julie...

Rating

Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Story—9.07
Volume 4 seems to be the most psychological thus far. Scott and Ramona's relationship is really put to the test, but the main plot line of fighting off evil ex-boyfriends takes the backseat. Everything is brought together very nicely, but Scott is kind of a bitch for most of the book, which is slightly annoying. I wanted to see him kick a little more ass. To be fair, though, his epiphany at the end would not have been nearly as effective is he wasn't such a pussy the whole book.

Style—10
Minor details and characters from past volumes are finally brought back and utilized to great effect. Bryan Lee O'Malley manages once again to keep the book original but on tone.

General—9
I very much enjoyed this book, but it feels a bit like a bridge between more important events. Volume 3 dealt heavily with Scott's emotional backstory and Ramona's true character, while throwing in some history and supporting character motivation. This book sets things up very nicely for the future, but definitely feels like the calm before the storm.

Overall—9.36

Only one more book to go! Keep reading, Genoshans!

Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-07-02T17:45:00.000-07:00

Level up!

::SPOILER ALERT::

Synopsis

When last we left our hero, Scott was waiting for his ex-girlfriend, Envy Adams, and her band, The Clash at Demonhead, to meet up and discuss terms so that Scott's band, Sex Bob-omb, could open a show for Envy's. Save point! Scott spots a glowing save point in the corner of the bar, but fails to reach it before Envy enters the room. Hopefully Scott doesn't die...

Once everyone is together—Scott; Ramona; Envy and her boyfriend, Todd; Envy's drummer, Lynette; Stephen Stills; Kim Pine; Stephen's sometimes girlfriend Julie; Young Neil; Knives Chau—things proceed to get very awkward. Envy is a bitch, but Knives idolizes her for being so cool omg. Knives fails to contain her excitement, though, and lashes out with "I've kissed the lips that kissed you!!!" Envy's drummer then proceeds to punch the highlights out of Knives' hair. Peace out, Knives. Things continue to go south as Scott and Todd find that they can no longer remain civil to each other. Their evil ex-boyfriend battle begins, but Scott is swiftly dispatched by Todd's psychic vegan powers. The fight would have continued—and, for Scott, possibly ended—right there, but everyone agreed that evil ex-boyfriend fights are tedious and unnecessary at 3:30am. They all agree to meet up at Honest Ed's the next day. Honest Ed's is a ridiculous store that sells so much stuff for so cheap that it's difficult to get through the store without suffering a stroke. Envy decrees that Scott and Todd must make it through the store, and the first one through is the winner. Todd is told he can't use his psychic powers, but cracks under the pressure of all the great deals, and accidentally causes the building to implode. They agree to try again in a few days, after the show that both bands are playing.

Here the book gets pretty stellar. We finally find out what happened between Scott and Envy, as well as how Scott and Wallace became friends, and the details of Ramona and Todd's relationship. We also learn that Todd sometimes cheats on things, for example his veganism (gasp!) and Envy (shock!). All relevant parties make their way to the club where the bands are supposed to perform, but while waiting for the show to start, Ramona and Envy cross paths and get into a cat fight. It's a fairly even match, with Ramona wielding a massive hammer—+2 against girls—and Envy wielding her bitchiness, but the crowd is clearly on Envy's side. Until Wallace Wells tells Ramona to break Envy's "horsey ol' face." With the crowd's attitude gradually changing, Ramona regains composure. To further complicate things, Knives intervenes as well, kicking Envy in the face just as she's about to wail on Ramona with her own hammer. With Envy down, Ramona takes command. Envy calls on Todd to save her, but realizes that he's actually hooking up with Lynette backstage. Envy breaks up with Todd, and Todd vows to break Scott. Todd's psychic vegan powers are too much for Scott once again, but this time Scott has back up in the form of The Boys and Crash, a new band formed by the previous members of Crash and the Boys. They help to hold off Todd's attacks, but the vegan is still too powerful. Recognizing that he is finally going to be beaten, Scott acknowledges that he "need[s] some kind of...like...last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!" Luckily, one arrives in the form of the Vegan Police, intent on arresting Todd for his violation of veganism and stripping him of his powers. Once unpsychicified, Scott easily defeats Todd, headbutting him into a glowing pile of coins. In the douchebag faux-vegan's wake is a strange, floating Scott Pilgrim head. Scott reaches out for the extra life and poof! It disappears in a cloud of smoke: 1-up! Sex Bob-omb plays their set and everyone loves them; Envy leaves town; all is lovely in Toronto.

Rating

Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Story—9.5
Volume three is the most complete book of the series so far. It follows a strongly-driven linear plot, but includes flashbacks and other elements of depth to increase appreciation and empathy for the characters. We learn more about Scott and Ramona's dating history, Stephen and Kim's motivations, Knives insanity, and the subtle machinations of Gideon, the leader of all the evil ex-boyfriends. Mad dramz.

Style—10
This book is stylistically perfect.

General—9.5
The smoothest read of the series so far. If somehow you had failed to get hooked on the first two books, this is the one that would most likely push you over the edge. It's incredible how seamlessly Bryan Lee O'Malley is able to evolve the plot and characters while remaining true to the overall style and tone of the series. Fantastic job.

Overall—9.67

Keep reading, Genoshans!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-06-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

Volume 2! Of Scott Pilgrim! Yes!

::SPOILER ALERT::

Synopsis

Flashback: 7 years ago. A 16-year-old Scott Pilgrim has just moved to Toronto. New school, new friends, new kids trying to beat him up all the time. He meets Lisa; they hang out and play video games. He meets Kim; they hang out and do geography class projects together. The three unite and form a band called Sonic & Knuckles. Boys from a rival school storm Scott, Lisa, and Kim's school and kidnap Kim, but Scott fights his way through several levels of bosses to get her back. Scott and Kim start dating! Everything is cutesy and fun until Scott moves away again and the two break up. Wait a minute, Scott and Kim? Kim Pine? Drummer for Scott's current band, Sex Bob-omb? Oooooohhh snap! Right from the get go in volume two we start to learn a little bit more about Scott: mainly, that he isn't the super innocent nerd everyone thinks he is. He used to date Kim, has started dating Ramona, and has yet to officially break up with Knives. And who is this mysterious ex-girlfriend that people keep saying is evil?

Scott finally breaks up with Knives, sending her on a jealous rampage that involves dying her hair and attacking Ramona in a library. Meanwhile, Scott's gay roommate Wallace gets the skinny on the next evil ex-boyfriend that Scott has to face: famous movie star Lucas Lee. Lucas is in town shooting a movie, but finds time to fight Scott in between takes, no big. At their first encounter, Scott gets his ass handed to him, but Lucas decides to take a break and drink some gatorade. While the two are hanging out waiting for round 2 to start, Scott notices Lucas' skateboard, and dares him to grind down a 200-step staircase. Lucas can't turn down a challenge! He makes it all the way down the staircase but botches the landing, reducing himself to a $14 pile of change. Scott wins! By default. Scott goes home bummed out that he couldn't even keep the item that appeared after Lucas' demise, a mithril skateboard. (Scott didn't pick up the skateboard proficiency in grade five. Oh well.)

While chilling at home after the fight, Scott gets a call from his ex-girlfriend, Envy Adams. Not much is known about Envy, except that she's now the lead singer of The Clash at Demonhead, a band that's been swiftly gaining popularity. Oh, and she broke Scott's heart. Envy tells Scott that her band is playing a few shows in Toronto, and that his band should open one of the shows. Scott lapses into depression, clearly not wanting to see Envy—or her new boyfriend Todd—at all, let alone open for their band. Stephen Stills protests! They must play! The band goes to one of The Clash at Demonhead's shows so that arrangements can be made, with Ramona and Young Neil in tow. Drama! Young Neil arrives with his new girlfriend on his arm—his new girlfriend KNIVES CHAU! Even more drama! Once the show starts, Ramona realizes that Scott's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, Todd, is actually RAMONA'S THIRD EVIL EX-BOYFRIEND!

Rating

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Story—9.07
This volume doesn't have as much action as the first (the intro fight is a flashback and the boss battle is hardly even a real fight), but it contains a ton of much-needed backstory. You get a much deeper understanding of all of the characters, as well as a few quirky tidbits thrown in that were alluded to in volume one (example: in volume one Scott mentions that he'll discuss his last employment situation in a future volume, and here he follows through).

Style—10
These are probably going to get 10s across the board for style. Bryan Lee O'Malley continues his commitment to video game references by including several more distinctly stylistic scenes, the mithril skateboard "item" being the most prominent.

General—9
The plot doesn't drive forward as strongly as the first book, but it's still incredible smooth to get through and ridiculously fun to read. The inclusion of backstory also ups the character investment, which is one of the few things that the first book could have benefitted from, I think.

Overall—9.36

Keep reading, Genoshans!

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (Bryan Lee O'Malley)

2010-06-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

You may or may not know this already, but July 20, 2010, will see the release of one of the most highly-anticipated comic books of all time: Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour by Bryan Lee O'Malley. Now, I know what some of you are saying. Who is this Scott Pilgrim character? Why do I care? Well, you care because the Scott Pilgrim series is one of the GREATEST LITERARY CREATIONS OF ALL TIME AND SCOTT HIMSELF IS AWESOME!

Oh yeah, and did I mention that the entire series is going to be a movie directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) and starring Michael Cera (Superbad, Arrested Development)??? Because it is! August 13! Yes!

::SPOILER ALERT::

Over the course of the next five weeks, I'm going to post reviews of each of the first five volumes of Scott Pilgrim, culminating in a review of the final volume on July 23. Well, review doesn't seem to be the right word. These are going to be more like recaps. Unlike normal Genoshan reviews, these WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS, so read at your own risk! If you just want the straight up ratings, without any spoilers, feel free to scroll down to the bottom of each recap, where the usual numerical ratings will remain spoiler-free. Now that all the business stuff is taken care of, let's get this show on the road!

Synopsis

Toronto. 2004. Scott Pilgrim—23; awesome—has just started dating Knives Chau—17; Chinese—and his friends are giving him shit about it. In order to stop the beration (berating? berativeness?), Scott brings Knives to meet his friends and fellow band members at one of their rehearsals. The band's name: Sex Bob-omb, one of roughly three trillion video game references in the series. The band meets Knives; Scott's gay roommate Wallace Wells meets Knives; Scott's little sister Stacey finds out about Knives; EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL FOR SCOTT OH YEAH! But then Scott starts seeing this mysterious hipster chick with funky hair in his dreams. Then he sees her in real life, at the library! After meeting her at a party, he finds out that she works for Amazon.ca, so he places an order, hoping that she'll bring him his package. She does! Her name is Ramona Flowers, and through an awkward dialogue with a smitten Scott the world discovers that she's been entering his dreams through a subspace highway—basically a shortcut on her delivery route that runs directly through his brain. Weird!

Scott somehow manages to convince Ramona to go on a date with him (even though he's technically dating Knives! Uh oh!), and then invites her to come see his band perform at a local bar. After their date, Scott receives a strange email, and subsequent letter, from someone named Matthew Patel, claiming that they should schedule a time to fight. Pssh, junk mail. Scott and the other Sex Bob-omb band members, Stephen Stills and Kim Pine, show up to their gig and meet up with: Stacey Pilgrim; a boy that Stacey brings; Wallace Wells, who hits on Stacey's boy; Young Neil, Sex Bob-omb's biggest fan; Knives Chau; Knives' friend, also 17; some other people; AND RAMONA FLOWERS OH NO BUT ISN'T KNIVES THERE YES SHE IS. Scott hides backstage while the first band, Clash and the Boys, plays their set. Unfortunately, the final song in Clash and the Boy's set knocks most of the audience unconscious, except for Scott's friends, who were all either in the balcony, or in the bathroom. As Sex Bob-omb takes the stage to play to a mostly comatose audience, Matthew Patel bursts through the ceiling and attacks Scott! Unfortunately for Matthew Patel, Scott Pilgrim is the best fighter in the province (we're in Canada, remember). Scott fights Matthew Patel! Matthew Patel summons flying demon hipster chicks! Scott summons his friends! The flying demon hipster chicks shoot fire balls at Scott! Deflected! Scott K-O's Matthew Patel, turning him into coins.

What was that all about? Oh, sorry Scott, that was the first of Ramona Flowers' SEVEN EVIL EX-BOYFRIENDS! All of whom have to be defeated if Scott wants to date Ramona. Bummer. Scott and Ramona start dating, and the book ends with several cliffhangers, mainly: what's Scott gonna tell Knives? who are Ramona's other evil exes, and will Scott be able to defeat them all?? why does Ramona get a weird blinking halo around her head whenever Scott asks her about her past??? WILL SCOTT GET MORE THAN $2.10 NEXT TIME HE DEFEATS AN EVIL EX-BOYFRIEND BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH HE GOT FOR BEATING MATTHEW PATEL AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN COVER BUS FARE?!?!?

So there's that. Why is this book so good? Where do I even start? How about I don't, and just jump right to the ratings?

Rating

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
by Brian Lee O'Malley

Story—9.4
It's soooooo original. Bryan Lee O'Malley creates a unique, quasi-realistic, video game-esque world where normal, mundane things happen all the time, but boss battles and subspace highways get thrown in for good measure. This first volume loses just a few tenths of a point for having a completely unexpected ending. I didn't have a problem with it, and actually think that it shouldn't have been unexpected at all, but alas, it's the number one complaint people have about the volume.

Style—10
I have never seen anything like this ever in my life and it is glorious. This is the kind of book that people will be stealing ideas from forever. A+++++

General—9.33
Maybe you don't read comic books. So what? This is exactly the kind of comic book that I would give to someone who doesn't read comic books. It's funny, accessible, easy to follow, but also has a decent amount of conflict and genuine emotion. Scott Pilgrim is a real person with real problems and real reactions. He just happens to live in a world where people can build up a 64-hit combo.

Overall—9.58

Now before you get too worried that the 2010 Daily Genoshan Top Ten List is going to be 60% Scott Pilgrim, let me tell you how the rating system is actually going to work. Similar to previous comic book series that have been reviewed, the final rating will encompass each of the individual volumes. This volume's rating of 9.58 will be averaged in with the ratings of the other five books to produce the Ultimate Scott Pilgrim Rating that will be revealed alongside the final review. Until next time, keep reading, Genoshans!

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Mark Haddon)

2010-06-11T09:26:00.001-07:00

Other writing responsibilities and World Cup soccer have been cutting in on Genoshan time lately, so unfortunately this has to be short. Luckily, though, reviews are easy to make short when the book is good, like this one.

Synopsis

Christopher Boone is an English boy living with what has to be some kind of autism. He remembers absolutely everything, but has trouble handling even the simplest social and emotional issues. One day Christopher comes across a dead dog in his neighbor's yard, and decides that the death is a mystery that he must solve. Christopher's father objects to the investigation, but it continues nonetheless, sending the boy off on a path that leads him to startling realizations about his own life.

Okay. This book is actually really well written. It reminds me a lot of 2009's #1-rated Daily Genoshan book, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Both books follow a special young boy who goes off on a quest to answer a question that's been nagging him. Both are written from a diary-like first person perspective. Both boys come from broken households. I couldn't help thinking of Jonathan Safran Foer's book while I was reading this one, though it should be noted that this book actually came out first. Regardless, the likeness is a good thing. Mark Haddon does an excellent job getting into Christopher's mind. Everything makes perfect sense the way Christopher explains it, even ridiculous actions like detesting the color yellow or punching a cop in the face. Christopher writes everything down, even things that make him look bad, because that's what he thinks he is supposed to do. It's great, though. I could never imagine having to live that like, but Haddon brings me about as close as I think I could ever be.

There's a ton of really good conflict, and the book takes some very unexpected turns. Christopher winds up learning much more about himself than about the dead dog. Not all of it is good, though. His reactions, while slightly exaggerated to us, make perfect sense to him, and create a depth of drama you don't often find. I also really enjoyed the fact that there are plenty of puzzles, maps, and diagrams included in the book. Christopher is primarily a logic-based entity, and does his best to explain things in as rational a way as possible. Sometimes this means illustrating examples. Haddon is able to bring everything together in such a way that it all makes complete sense. It's an excellent book, I highly recommend it to pretty much everyone.

Rating

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
by Mark Haddon

Story—8.5
I was genuinely intrigued by Christopher's compulsion to continue on with his investigation even after his father made him swear he would stop. He has to find justifiable ways to keep going so that he can't be labeled a liar, which is extremely important to him.

Style—9
This book came out two years ahead of what I personally labelled one of the best books ever written, but shares many of the same stylistic quirks. Haddon doesn't take things to the extreme that Foer did, but the creativity is astounding.

General—8.5
I can see why this is such a popular book, and my only regret is that I never read it sooner. It's easy to find, often filling up "Buy 2, Get the 3rd Free!" tables at Barnes & Noble.

Overall—8.67

Pick this book up. It's bound to be a classic. Keep reading, Genoshans!

City of Thieves (David Benioff)

2010-06-04T11:06:00.001-07:00

Wow. So good.

Synopsis

From the guy who brought you The 25th Hour and the screenplays for The Kite Runner and—more importantly— X-Men Origins: Wolverine, comes a book about two guys trying to find a carton of eggs. Huh? Wait, this book is about a couple of guys just running around trying to find some eggs? There's got to be more to it than that...

Okay, so there's a little bit more to it than that. Lev Beniov is a teenaged boy living in Leningrad well into the Nazis' horrific siege of the city during World War II. Starving and lacking any hope of relief in the near future, he resorts to robbing a dead German paratrooper that lands outside Lev's building. Unfortunately, the dead Nazi doesn't have any food on him, and Lev is arrested for breaking curfew essentially without reward. Expecting to be executed alongside his handsome and outgoing cellmate, Kolya, Lev is surprised when he and his new friend are instead taken to a mansion on the other side of the city. They are met by a powerful Soviet colonel who sends them on a deadly mission: secure a dozen eggs for the colonel's daughter's wedding cake. Lev and Kolya's ration cards are confiscated as an incentive to comply, and the two are left with little choice but to search the city for a carton of eggs that they know they won't find.

Let me just get something out of the way here: this book is incredible. It's not some profound, paradigm-shattering epic that speaks to very essence of man. It's not a poetic masterpiece, sure to be cherished for generations to come because of its beautiful handling of the English language. Screw that noise. It's a 260-page novel with a plot that covers probably 240 of those pages. But damn, is it a good plot. Benioff writes conflict so well. No, really, so, so, so well. Everything that can go wrong for this poor kid Lev doesn't just go wrong, it goes horribly, hellaciously wrong. Early on in their journey, Lev and Kolya are confronted by a man who says he has eggs if they've got cash. They go with the man, but stay on guard. When he invites them up to his apartment, they're clearly a little skeptical, assuming they're about to get robbed. Nope, cannibals. Dude starts swinging a cleaver around, his wife coming at the pair with a knife, people's flayed corpses just chilling from meat hooks in the ceiling. Terrifying stuff. It doesn't get much better for the kid after that, either. They realize that the most likely place to find eggs these days is outside the city—the city that's surrounded by Nazis—on farms—controlled by Nazis—where farmers might still have chickens laying eggs—for Nazi omelettes or whatever Germans eat for breakfast. Oh yeah, and Lev's Jewish. We all know how much the Nazis love them some Jews.

Seriously, folks, this book is top notch. It's got love, war, cannibals, chickens, Nazis, hookers, death marches, paratroopers, candy made out of glue, Scandinavian rebels, sexy snipers, and a little bit of chess and poetry for all you cultured readers out there. Great conflict, great drama, beautiful characterization, and just overall fantastic storytelling. READ THIS BOOK!

Rating

City of Thieves
by David Benioff

Story—9
Benioff keeps it simple: strong plot, strong characters, strong motivation. It's surprising how far good old rising action will take you.

Style—8.03
This kind of thing has been done before, sure. You don't read this book because you're looking for something completely new. You read this book because you're looking for something to reassure yourself that strong, quality writing still exists and that a book can succeed on the strength of its story.

General—9.67
This book is extremely quick to read, extremely fun to read, and deceptively easy to get hooked into once you've started. Don't be surprised if you pick it up early one afternoon and find yourself turning the last page at 3 am, clueless as to where your day went.

Overall—8.9

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Seth Grahame-Smith)

2010-05-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hot damn, have I got a book for you!

Synopsis

Seth Grahame-Smith, co-author of the wildly successful Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, has moved on to more sophisticated fare. He now fancies himself a biographer, and for his first post-Austen work he's decided to tackle Abraham Lincoln. Normally, that would be boring. Countless biographies have already been written on the 16th president, and I'm not sure how they keep finding new information. Grahame-Smith, however, tells the reader EXACTLY how he got his new information: from a vampire friend of the president himself.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter details the secret life of Honest Abe as he wages a silent war on the vampires responsible for the propogation of slavery in the South. Huh? Yup. Through journal entries and historical photographs, AL:VH works vampires into the man's entire life, from his humble log cabin beginnings to his run for the presidency. It's ridiculous. The book reads like a legit biography, but with some vampires thrown in to spice things up a bit.

And oh, is it spicy! Abe was known for his size and backwoods upbringing, and Grahame-Smith uses this to his advantage as he descrives the man's training and conquests on the road to becoming America's foremost vampire hunter. It's difficult to describe how incredible this book is, because the concept is right there on the front cover, but I was genuinely surprised at how well this thing reads. This is a scholarly work of biographical fiction. I can't imagine how much research must have been involved in the writing process. Similarly to P&P&Z, the additions are flawless, seamless, sensational. I admit, I thought that that Seth Grahame-Smith wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of this book, since so much of his earlier effort was the original Austen text, but he really shows himself to be a fantastic writer with this one. Historical figures like William Seward, Stephen Douglas, and Jefferson Davis make appearances which add a depth of flavor to the experience that proves to be invaluable. Great, great book. I absolutely, 100% recommend it to any- and everyone.

Rating

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
by Seth Grahame-Smith

Story—8.5
This is an incredible piece of fiction, and just like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies before it, I hope this spurns more of the same type of work.

Style—8.9
I wish I could be more specific about the reasons why this book is fantastic, but I'm on vacation, and it's been difficult to find the time to post reviews. Just know that Grahame-Smith executes his premise superbly.

General—9.25
This book is easy to read and amazingly suspenseful. Each time Abe went out to slay a vampire, I knew he'd survive, because he still hadn't become president yet. Somehow I was still worried he might not make it out alive. Excellent writing.

Overall—8.88

READ THIS BOOK!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls (Steve Hockensmith)

2010-05-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

Almost a full year ago now, I reviewed a little book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a literary mash-up wherein author Seth Grahame-Smith injected zombies into the Jane Austen classic. I rated it a 9.22, which was the highest rating yet given at the time (it's still #4 on the all-time list). Then, a few months later, a sequel was released—though using a different Austen classic and a different co-author—titled Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Ben H. Winters had the honors of slicing in aquatic abominations this time around, and S&S&SM earned an 8.89, putting it at #8 on the all-time list.

I picked up the most recent installment, Steve Hockensmith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls, a few weeks ago, and am excited to have finally found the time to slip it into the rotation.

Synopsis

Dawn of the Dreadfuls is very much what the publisher, Quirk Books, calls a "Quirk Classic." It takes characters from a novel in the public domain and mashes in anachronistic fantasy elements. This "Quirk Classic" differs from its predecessors in one major respect, however. DotD is not taken directly from an existing literary work. Sure, the Bennet family is already well-known via their introduction to the world in the original Pride and Prejudice, but the plot and supporting characters in DotD are all original. The book, a prequel to the Seth Grahame-Smith P&P&Z, follows the Bennets as they witness the outbreak of the zombie plague in the small English village of Meryton. Mr. Bennet, the stoic patriarch of the family, sees the outbreak as an excuse to finally train his five daughters in the "deadly arts," which he himself learned during the very first manifestation of the undead plague several decades before. During the earlier outbreak, what he often refers to as "the Troubles," he studied in the Far East under a Master Liu, and wishes that his daughters would adhere to the same warrior code that rules his own life. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennet, and most of the neighboring countryside, find it abominable that a woman might think it acceptable to parade about with swords and shuriken slicing the heads off of things. The five Bennet girls are cast out from proper British society and informed that they are no longer welcome to attend the upcoming ball. Well, clearly this is unacceptable, and most of the book tackles the Bennet girls' attempts to train themselves in the ways of zombie self-defense while also maintaining their more genteel and ladylike traits.

Sounds fun, right? And it is. The book is full of zombie ridiculousness, just like it's predecessor. I enjoyed it. There were a few things, though, that I wasn't sure about. The first book has the advantage of being a perfect replica of the original Jane Austen text, except for the addition of the risen dead. Austen was a pretty stellar writer. Her plots and character development, even though dealing with seemingly trivial social matters, are virtually unparalleled. With DotD, Steve Hockensmith had to basically start from scratch. He benefits somewhat from the fact that Seth Grahame-Smith built up a fair amount of backstory in the original P&P&Z, but at times that fact also hurts him. DotD doesn't take place in Japan or China, as I thought it might considering Grahame-Smith's comments regarding the girls' training. It also occurs during a time when the "dreadfuls" are essentially returning after a decades-long absence, not at the true "dawn" of the plague. That's fine, and Hockensmith writes it all very well considering he's completely on his own, it's just not what I was expecting.

I also thought that the plot could have been a little more fully developed. I was disappointed at how much the scenes tended to focus on highly repetitive actions and conversations. It made the writing feel a bit heavy-handed, since most of the revelations towards the end of the book were very obviously set up in advance. Honestly, though, I think most of these problems have to do with the fact that Hockensmith was forced to emulate a style that is not his own, without the benefit of a preexisting text to guide him. Taking that into consideration and looking at the book primarily as a source of ninja-on-zombie action, I have to say that the writer has done an excellent job of keeping this franchise fresh and interesting for Quirk. I would still really like to see something written about the original zombie outbreak from Mr. Bennet's youth, and either his or the girls' time spent studying in Asia, but I can only judge this book on what it is, not what I wish it were. And despite the issues that I had with the book, the truth is I didn't want to put it down. Mr. Bennet plays a much larger role in this book than the original, which I loved. His wife is still annoying as hell, and I really enjoy his sarcastic remarks when dealing with her. It was also good to see the girls' personalities developing towards what they ultimately become in Grahame-Smith's book. It's difficult to write convincing prequels—just ask George Lucas—and even more difficult to write them when you weren't the original author. Steve Hockensmith deserves credit for a job well done, even if the book might not have been as strong as its progenitor.

Rating

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls
by Steve Hockensmith

Story—7.13
I can't really give the man credit for someone else's idea, but I can give him credit for his original supporting characters, most of which I found to be hilarious. Also, sometimes it's fun knowing characters are almost definitely going to die (since they only exist in the prequel).

Style—7.27
The score would've been much higher here except originality really kicked its ass. Hockensmith was working in a highly restricted space. While I think he managed extremely well given the circumstances, the story did feel a little boxed in at times.

General—8.47
Regardless of anything else, you will have fun with this book. It's not a masterpiece, it's not something that scholars will still be discussing centuries from now, but in the grand scheme of things, who cares? If you read this book, you will have a good time. I think that should count for a lot.

Overall—7.62

Keep reading, Genoshans!